The Wooden Sea Read Online Free PDF Page B

I'm curious to see what will happen. If he does return again, I won't have to wait to hear the news from you." He took Chuck from me, and the small dog went nuts licking his face.

    "Which do you think it is?"

    "Probably mischief, but I hope it's the other."
    "I don't need God putting dead dogs in my trunk, George."

    "Maybe it's not God. Maybe it's something else."

    "That kind of shit's off my Richter scale, bud. I have trouble enough living with a teenager.
    Remember when I got shot? I was close for a couple hours.
    Magda said they were thinking of calling a priest to give me the last rites.
    But did I do out-of-body travel to the big light? No. Did I see God? No." I rubbed my face. "What about the smell?"

    He looked at the ground. "I don't smell anything." _"What? _You can't smell that? Even now it's knocking me down!"

    "Nothing, Frannie. I don't smell a thing."

    Unlike George, his house is normal. Everything is in order; everything as uninteresting as possible. Magda and I once went over for a dinner of boiled beef and Mars bars for dessert. Afterward she said, "His house is so ordinary you keep thinking maybe it's creepy, but it isn't--it's just really dull." The only thing that stood out were all kinds of brand-new gadgets lying around, waiting for Mr.
    Dalemwood to explain them to confused future consumers.

    "What's this?" I picked up an object that looked like a mix between a CD
    player and a small Frisbee.

    "Don't touch that, Frannie. It's very delicate." He was searching a shelf packed full of large-format art books. "Just sit down. I'll be with you in a second."

    "How come every time I come here you scold me for something?"

    "Here it is." He pulled out a book as big as a door. Looking at his hand, he grimaced and wiped it on his pants. Then he opened the book and started flipping through the pages. "Wouldn't you rather be called than tricked?"

    "Meaning what?" I picked up the CD Frisbee and put it down again.

    "Wouldn't you like to have a metaphysical adventure rather than track down some bozo who's just trying to make you look stupid?"

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    "No. My family won't let me watch _The X-Files _or _The Outer Limits _with them because whenever the strange stuff starts happening, I laugh."

    Judging by his expression, George had tuned me out after I said no.
    But when he abruptly stopped flipping pages, a smile the likes of which I had never seen rose slowly up his face like a hot air balloon lifting off. Not only that. This was the second time in two days I had seen a look on anodier's face that announced something big was about to arrive and I'd better put on my seat belt for whatever was coming.
    The first time happened right before Susan announced her separation.
    But George's expression was stranger because he was not given to great emotional splashes. If you didn't know the guy you could easily have mistaken him for autistic. His response to things rarely arrived with a side order of exclamation marks.

    " `Fear only two: God, and the man who has no fear of God.' That's from the Koran, Frannie."
    Whatever _that _was supposed to mean, he came over holding the book open with two hands.
    He put it on my lap and stepped back. I looked at him for some sign but he only pointed at the page, that bizarre smile still locked in place.

    I looked down. My eyes widened to the size of planets. "No fuck-ing way!" I didn't lift my head. My eyes raced round and round the picture. I _couldn't _lift my head. "No fuck-ing way!"

    "See the title?"

    _"Yes, George, I see the title! _What am I supposed to do now? Huh?
    What am I supposed to do with this? Did I see the title? Am I stupid?
    I _can _read, you know--"

    "Take it easy, Frannie." But he was smiling. The son of a bitch was still smiling.

    On the page in the book on my lap was a reproduction of a painting by an unknown artist, circa 1750. Remember that-- seventeen hundred and fifty. It is a portrait of a dog. A three-and-a-half-legged, one-eyed,