The Wedding Read Online Free PDF Page B

kids would be upset.
    The kids? she asked, raising an eyebrow, and silently telling herself to stop before she blew it. Or Joanie?
    Come on, Allie, be a good girl. You know I can't help it. I've got a trial, you've got a trip to New York, I've got two kids in San Francisco. We've both got our obligations. Why don't we just do what we have to do, and then get together afterward and enjoy it? He made it all sound so sensible, and yet some part of her didn't buy it the part that was always disappointed when he didn't show up, like for the awards, or when he went home after they made love, to sleep alone at his place. At least he had spent the night with her the night before, and she reminded herself that she should be grateful for that, and stop nagging him about the weekend.
    I love you, she said, as he kissed her in the doorway, and she stood back a little bit so no one could see her naked.
    Me too, he smiled at her. Have fun in New York. And don't forget to take your long Johns. It said in the Times today it's snowing.
    Great. She looked forlorn as she watched him go, then waved as he got into his car. She closed the front door, and then watched him from her bedroom window as he backed down her driveway. She felt sick as she watched him drive away. Something felt wrong and she wasn't sure what it was, the fact that he wouldn't change his plans, or was going to see Joanie again, with the girls, or just the simple reality that she had to go to the Golden Globes alone now, and explain it to her parents. Or maybe just knowing that she wouldn't see him again for ten days. All of it made her feel miserable as she walked into her bathroom and turned on the shower.
    She stood there for a long time, with the water running on her face, as she thought of him and wondered if he'd ever change. Or would he always want to sleep alone, decide it was too much trouble to come by after work, and be married to Joanie forever? As her tears mingled with the hot water, and she told herself how foolish she was to be upset, somehow she couldn't find the answers.
    She was exhausted when she finally turned the shower off half an hour later. He was probably at his office by then, and it seemed so odd to her to think that he was still in town, that he would be for two days and she wouldn't see him. And yet, when she tried to explain feelings like that to him, about needing him, or just wanting to be with him, he didn't seem to get it.
    Why do you think that is? Dr. Green always asked her.
    How do I know? Allegra had snapped at her on more than one occasion.
    Do you think it could be due to a lack of commitment on his part? Dr. Green usually persisted. Or maybe that he doesn't care as much for you as you do for him? Or maybe he's just unable to make the kind of commitment you want, she suggested pointedly, following a familiar theme that always unnerved Allegra. Why was she always suggesting that the men in Allegra's life gave her far too little? Why was it a recurring theme, and why did she keep trying to say that it was a pattern? It really annoyed her.
    Allegra threw the rest of the blueberry muffins away. He had almost finished them, and she wasn't hungry anyway. She made herself a fresh cup of coffee, and then went to dress. She was ready to leave for work by eight-thirty, and she had some time to spare before she braved the freeway traffic. She glanced at her watch, and knew that her mother would have left for the studio at four A.M., but she left a message on her machine, confirming that she would join them for dinner on Friday night, and she'd be alone. She was sure that when she got there, it would cause comment, particularly if she told them where he was. But at least in the meantime, she didn't have to hear it.
    And then, dialing from memory, she called a Beverly Hills number that half the women in America would have given their right arm for. They had been friends since they were fourteen, boyfriend and girlfriend for a brief six months in