The Unpleasantness at Baskerville Hall (Reeves & Worcester Steampunk Mysteries Book 4) Read Online Free PDF Page B

country in the world. And the cloudiest. Think of all those private zeppelin owners just crying out for somewhere new to go. We’ll make the fly-in the most fashionable place to be seen. All we need are investors.”
    I slurped a contemplative spoonful of mulligatawny. I may not have had five diamond mines, but neither was I short of a few bob. As oofiness went, I was high to middling. Should I invest a few thou? I could see my fellow sloths being first in the queue for a fly-in over Piccadilly.
    “And that’s not the best bit,” said T. “The beauty of the fly-in is that we can hold them anywhere. And if we hold them outside the three-mile limit, it’s all tax free! No tax. No duty. Everything we make is pure profit!”
    I’m sure there was a downside, but dashed if I could see it. I’d have a word with Reeves at the first opportunity.
    T. Everett was a veritable fountain of ideas. Over the next two courses he regaled me with all manner of money-making schemes.
    “It’s all in the concessions,” he said. “And the better-heeled the customer, the bigger the profit. Have you ever been to the opera, Roderick?”
    “Does Gilbert and Sullivan count?”
    “If they have opera glasses they do. How can you see how fat the fat lady really is if you don’t have opera glasses? It’ll be the same at a fly-in, except ... how can you fly a zeppelin without flying goggles?”
    All good questions.
    “So we combine the two,” said T. Everett. “And sell everyone our very own fly-in movie goggles. No one’ll dare miss out.”
    “Tell him about the cloud ice cube dispenser,” said Henry.
    “Think of all those clouds up there, Roderick,” said T. “Full of the purest water imaginable. And all those thirsty patrons just crying out for ice in their drinks. I know a guy in New Jersey who has a patent for seeding clouds to make it rain. If he can make rain, he sure as shootin’ oughta be able to make ice too, don’t you think?”
    Once again his logic was faultless.
    “We’ll call it Cloud Ice,” continued T. “And we’ll add some kinda scoop to our concessions zeppelin to collect it all. It’ll be swell.”
    “Of course,” said Henry, “None of this can get off the ground without a steady stream of hit movies to show. Which is where Quarrywood comes in. Have you seen any of our movies, Roderick? The Quarry That Time Forgot, The Quarry of the Apes . We’re shooting The Creature from 20,000 Leagues Under the Quarry at the moment.”
    I sensed a theme.
    “Isn’t it 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ?” I said.
    “That’s the book,” said Henry. “But the sea’s twenty miles away and the quarry’s right here.”
    “The movie is a very different creature to a book, Roderick,” said T. “It takes days to read a book. A movie’s over in twenty minutes.”
    “Exactly,” said Henry. “One can’t afford to dawdle. Being a moving picture director is a bit like producing a village show when one only has the hall booked for twenty minutes, and the audience is packed with the local toughs, each one armed to the gills with rotten tomatoes. One can’t send out old Mr Trumpington to stutter and repeat himself through all thirty-seven verses of Observations of Flowers in the Vicinity of Matterstock Parva . They’d kill him.”
    I may never have met old Mr Trumpington, but I’d sat through many a recitation by a close relative.
    “No,” said Henry. “One simply has to cut out all the Trumpingtons, and floral observations, when adapting a book for a one-reeler. People want action these days — lots of chases, monsters and murders. And if the book doesn’t have enough monsters then I say ‘add them.’ Don’t you think The Importance of Being Earnest would be improved by having a few more murders?”
    “I didn’t know there were any murders in The Importance of Being Earnest .”
    “I think you’ll find there’s one . Doesn’t Lady Bracknell brain someone with a handbag?”
    “Not in the productions