The Unfinished Work of Elizabeth D Read Online Free PDF

1976
    Dear Diary
,
    I told Mom I was going to Sherry’s house after school. I’ve never been in a graveyard alone before. I passed a grave where people put stuffed animals and little toy cars by the headstone, and when I read the dates I saw that a really little kid had been buried there. I was afraid I’dhave another breathing fit but when I got to Anna’s I stopped crying. The grass hasn’t grown and there’s no stone yet. So I sat and looked at dirt
.
    I don’t know what people do when they go to graveyards and I was probably supposed to pray or something, but I couldn’t stop thinking that she was right down there under the ground. Her actual body wearing her green school picture day dress like at the wake. But it didn’t look anything like her except for the charm bracelet and the hair, and even that was weird, all stiff like a doll’s. There was not a single thing that’s the way she really was, nothing about her goofy face and the way she always followed me that was so annoying but I couldn’t yell Quit it. Because what kind of person would be mean to a kid who only wants to be with you all the time?
    That’s when I knew that she’s with God, because there was no Anna in that box at all. I didn’t feel it as much at the funeral, which is when I guess you’re supposed to. But when you look at a body and there’s not a bit of life in it that was anything like what the person really was, not even like someone sleeping and more frozen than a statue, then you just have to know there’s a God. Because something has to make that body more than a body, not just blood going around
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    April 29, 1976
    The school guidance counselor set me up with Mother’s Helper work. She thought it would be good for me even though I don’t like babysitting and little kids kind of bug me. The mom smiled a lot and was always touching the little girl’s hair and giving her little hugs and squeezes, and I wondered if Mom was ever like that with me when I was little, before she started calling me Sourpuss and Grumplestiltskin. The mom was asking me questions about how I like school and about my family, so I guess the counselor didn’t tell her about Anna. Which was weird because even though she lives the next town over I think every other single person in the county knows, or at least it seems that way at the grocery store. When she asked if I had anybrothers or sisters I didn’t know what to say. What am I supposed to say now?
    I asked Mom this while she was doing the dishes and she was quiet for a long time, and then she looked out the window behind the sink, and I couldn’t tell if she was going to get mad or cry. But she didn’t do either. She told me that it’s better to say that I don’t have any brothers or sisters because to explain to other people that I had a sister who just died would make them really uncomfortable, and people don’t like to be uncomfortable. There are things you say, and things that are better not to. And anyway, it’s the truth.
    I wish Mom and Dad had more than just two kids. It doesn’t seem like a very smart thing to do if you’re a parent, when the good one can get killed and then you’re left with only one, the grumpy one
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    May 12, 1976
    I went back to the graveyard today and brought Anna’s palomino pony. I had to sneak into her room to get it because Mom doesn’t like it when I go in. Everything’s the same, even her dirty clothes are still on the floor and the bed isn’t made.
    I told Dr. Trinker about how I got in big trouble last week when Mom caught me sleeping in Anna’s bed. Dr. Trinker said she’d talk to her, but a few days later Mom said I wouldn’t be going to Dr. Trinker again. She said I didn’t need to go talk to a doctor anymore and that we were all doing just fine
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    June 15, 1976
    Happy birthday to me. 13! I’m a teenager now. I guess I’m supposed to do things like talk on the phone and hang out downtown. Sherry is still my friend, that’s about it. I