The Underground City Read Online Free PDF

if I would ever get accustomed to his acumen with magic. Probably not. I scanned his house, taking stock of everything and concluding it looked exactly the same as it had the last time I was here.
    It smelled of earth, water and trees—like the forest, itself. All the furniture, which was comprised of a table and two chairs, a couch and Tallis’s bed, was constructed of hand-hewn logs. The bed and the couch were covered with animal furs, while the mattress and pillows were filled with straw. Other animal hides were scattered on the ground directly in front of the fire. I was familiar enough with Tallis’s cabin after spending the night here on more than one occasion, with Bill, of course.
    “Looks like you’re in luck, Bill,” I said as we both watched Tallis carry an iron pot to the fire and place it into the flames. “Although I’ll bet it isn’t squirrel or gopher.” As far as I knew, creatures in the Dark Wood weren’t the same as you’d find in an Earth forest. The only experience I had with any creatures in the Dark Wood were enormous, flying spiders. The spiders, which we’d encountered during our first mission into the Underground City, were gargantuan. They stood as high as my knees and were dangerous because they squirted out venom, which could kill you. And they hunted in packs.
    “Nice,” Bill responded, patting his stomach as it growled again. “Although I will admit that the last time we ate Conan’s food, I got major meat sweats for like a week. Then I had such rancid farts, when we went grocery shopping at Tesco, people started lookin’ around and sayin’ there must have been a sewage problem.”
    “God, Bill,” I said, shaking my head.
    “Swear!” Bill replied, even crossing his heart. “I was blastin’ the most disgustin’, rotten, shit-smellin’ farts. The worst of my entire life! I nearly made myself pass out.”
    “Yer trainin’ will be in two parts, lass,” Tallis suddenly announced. He lifted the cover off the pot and stirred its contents, apparently not overly concerned about Bill’s intestinal discomfort.
    “Okay,” I said, taking a seat on one of the animal furs I found on the floor. Bill chose to sit in one of the chairs beside the table.
    “The first half o’ the day will be spent oan trainin’ ye how ta wield yer sword,” Tallis continued. It was actually the second lesson he would give me on sword fighting. Because I was so hopeless when it came to fencing or using my sword, I figured I needed all the practice and guidance I could get. “The second half o’ the day will be spent oan trainin’ yer body.”
    “Training my body?” I repeated, with a frown, unaware of his gist.
    Tallis nodded. “Jist as ye moost possess knowledge an’ skill ta wield yer sword, so moost yer body be in tip-top condition ta deal with the trials an’ tribulations o’ bein’ a Retriever.”
    “So, you mean … I’ll be lifting weights or something?” I asked, still confused.
    “You are skinny fat, Lil,” Bill pointed out, his eyebrows raised as he pointed at my stomach. “I mean, you look skinny but you’re all flabby an’ shit.” I glared at him until he shut up.
    “Aye, weights an’ cardio trainin’ ta ensure yer swiftness oan yer feet,” Tallis answered as he stirred the contents of the pot again.
    “Conan’s gonna turn you into that Terminator chick,” Bill piped up with a wink at me. “I totally wanted ta bone her when that movie came out.” A few moments of silence ensued as he, no doubt, was picturing Linda Hamilton’s naked body in his mind. “’Course, she’s prolly too old an’ loose now.” Then he shook his head. “Nah, I’ll bet she’s a Freddy Cougar—an old chick who can totally rock her slutty Halloween costume.”
    I rolled my eyes at Bill before I addressed Tallis. “So you want me to join a gym or what?”
    Tallis shook his head. “Nae. Ah’ve already consigned someone Ah troost ta train ye. Yer first session will begin at