The Sweetest Thing Read Online Free PDF

dark, almost black wood paneling, and huge crimson velvet festoons hung from the ceiling down over the windows. The couches that had been there just two days ago were gone, and instead large silk pillows with elaborate embroidery and enormous tassels were positioned at jaunty angles around the room. The trim around the windows and wainscoting at the top of the ceiling had been painted gold, and an enormous bronze statue of a jaguar stood in the far-left corner of the room, its fangs bared and its jeweled, ruby-red eyes flashing.
    I coughed and squinted. A huge cone of incensewas burning on a hammered brass tray, and the smoke was curling through every inch of air in the room. The whole place made me think of the caterpillar’s mushroom from Alice in Wonderland. What kind of crazy rabbit hole had I fallen through to get here?
    â€œSara-Beth?” I called weakly, trying to get some oxygen. “You in here?”
    Somewhere upstairs a gong sounded, and I watched Sara-Beth slowly descend the circular staircase leading into the living room. She was wearing a dark blue silk robe stitched with golden starbursts, and matching silk pants. Little bells hung at the ends of her sleeves, jingling as she walked. Her plum-colored lipstick matched the pillow she chose to sit down on. I pulled over a dark green one and flopped down next to her.
    â€œFlan, sweetie!! Your new haircut is amazing! It reminds me of a dream I just had,” Sara-Beth exclaimed.
    â€œThanks! But Sara-Beth,” I said, choking slightly on the thick, incense-laden air, “what on earth is going on? What happened to your furniture?”
    â€œOh, furniture is so constrictive.” Sara-Beth swatted at the incense smoke billowing toward her. “When I was out looking for a new sofa, I met Nada. She showed me a better way.”
    â€œNada?” As in, Nada ounce of taste? This was getting stranger all the time. Next Sara-Beth would be telling me this lady had a dog named Zilch.
    â€œIsn’t that a pretty name? She told me it means ‘drinker of the moon.’” Sara-Beth smiled. “Anyway, she’s my new designer. They’ve still got a lot of work to do, but this house is going to be a home in no time.”
    I glanced around and nodded slowly. I didn’t want to say it, but her place looked more like an opium den than anything I’d want for a house. Before I had time to come up with a compliment about the new decorations, a woman in a purple velvet kimono came in, pushing a clothes rack hung with all kinds of heavy, fringey fabrics.
    â€œOh, Nada! There you are. We were just talking about you.”
    Nada smiled, her sleeves jingling like Sara-Beth’s. She was about my mom’s age, with long, frizzy brown and gray hair that almost reached her waist. Her shiny gray satin slippers tapered to a point at the toes and then curved up, like elf shoes.
    â€œThese are for the wall hangings and pillows,” said Nada, pointing at the fabrics at the front of the rack. “The rest are for your tailor.”
    â€œYour tailor?” I asked.
    Sara-Beth turned to me eagerly. “Isn’t it wonderful, Flan! I’m going to match the house. It’ll be really good for my chi.”
    â€œUm … like in the
Sound of Music
, when the kids wear outfits made out of curtains?” I hoped I sounded supportive.
    Sara-Beth clapped her hands. “Yes, exactly! Oh, Flan, I knew you’d understand. Isn’t Nada a genius?”
    Nada smiled and smoothed her hair back. I noticed she had a New Age pyramid tattooed on her wrist. “I like to share my energies with others however I can. The home should be an extension of your aura, and anything that obstructs the vibrations—”
    Sara-Beth smiled vaguely and waved her away. Nada looked somewhat downcast as she wheeled the rack back out of the room, jingling as she went. The minute she was gone, Sara-Beth collapsed backward onto two more