dad arguing with my mom about it in the kitchen. I was sitting on the nearby stairs unbeknownst to them.
“ I don’t want him watching that shit anymore. H e sleeps with his light on all night, ” my dad said.
“ He thinks there are monsters in his room. ”
“ I don’t care. It’s got to stop. ”
“ It’s normal for boys to start having bad dreams at his age. Their imagination is running wild. ”
“ Bullshit! It’s those movies, and if it doesn’t stop soon I’m taking him to a shrink. ”
A moment later, my father rounded the corner and found me sitting there, and he knew I’d been listening. It was awkward. That was the first time I realized what shame felt like. It felt like having your insides cut up and your heart squeezed till it didn’t want to beat anymore. My father just gave me this funny look, a look I would later recognize whenever I had a birthday or on Christmas. It was a mixture of love and pity.
Crying, I said, “ I’m sorry, Dad. I try not to be afraid, but I get scared. ”
He didn’t say anything, just looked at his feet for a minute and then went upstairs without a word.
The following night, as I went up to bed, Jamie crying in her room, my dad passed me on the stairs. He put a hand on my shoulder and said, “ Hey , sport, you going to sleep ? ”
“ Yes. ”
“ Sit down here for a second, I want to talk to you. You know, you’re getting kind of old now. What are you, eight? ”
“ And a half. ”
“ Geez, you’re gonna be eye-level with me in no time. But listen, this, um, this whole deal with sleeping with the lights on and coming into our room — ”
“ I’m sorry, I don’t mean — ”
“ No, listen ” — he put his arm around me — “ I’m not mad. I mean, I think it’s time we formulate a plan. We’ve got to get rid of these monsters once and for all. Don’t you agree? ”
“ How? ”
“ Well, did you know that werewolves, and mummies, and even snakemen, they all have weaknesses that can kill them quick as you can say, ‘Back to the grave with ye!’ ”
“ Yeah, but you need silver bullets and garlic and stuff. ”
“ Not if you know all the other ways to kill them, the secret ways. Did you know if you keep a rose petal under your pillow it’ll keep vampires away? ”
“ Really? ” I was stunned that my father had this knowledge. “ How do you know? ”
“ Oh, I read it somewhere. ”
“ Where? ”
“ You’ll find out soon enough. But just you remember, us humans are stronger than the monsters, and once a person knows how to defeat them, knows these tricks, they can’t ever hurt us again, even if we’re sleeping. Do you want to learn these secrets? ”
I nodded.
“ Think you can handle it? I mean, eight-and-a-half is old and all, but maybe we should wait until — ”
“ No, no, I want to know. ”
“ Okay, I can tell you’ve got the fight in you. Runs in our family that fight, that will to survive. Comes from my Grandma. I wish she were still around to see you. She’d recognize that fight in you, too. ”
“ I’ve got it, Dad, I know it. Teach me the secrets. ”
“ Okay, okay, you go on up and get some shut-eye. Everything you need to know is up there waiting for you. I love you. ”
Somewhat puzzled, I told my dad I loved him and went on up. When I got to my room I found a comic book lying on my bed. Monster Slayer , number one.
CHAPTER 5
I woke to the sound of sparring insults, pots clanging, and something sizzling in a pan downstairs in the kitchen. The smell of coffee was like an uppercut to my brain, thick as mud even with the covers over my head. There was some laughter, then an angry harrumph, then what sounded like a plastic cup bouncing on the tiled floor.
“ Don’t you have a home? ” I heard Jamie say.
“ Yeah, but I ran away because I didn’t want to be king anymore, ” came Tooth’s reply. “ Too many responsibilities. I beg of you, poor farmer, let me live with you and