â ornithology â the study of birds.>
I said.
Tobias began preening his feathers. Itâs something he has to do, but itâs also a habit he has when heâs bothered by something. he added dryly.
For a while I didnât say anything. I couldnât. I was too busy hating myself for bringing this up with Tobias. Tobias, of all people! He was already a casualty in this war. He was trapped in a hawk morph. And here I was thinking of bailing out?
What was the matter with me? I couldnât leave. Leave Tobias living in the forest? Leave my best friend, Cassie, to fight, maybe to die, so I could cut and run? Leave Jake and Marco and Ax? Why? Because my dad was lonely and I could take gymnastics classes?
No. I wasnât okay. I felt sick. What was the matter with me? I couldnât leave. I couldnât give up. I lied.
Tobias said.
I said.
Tobias advised.
I opened my wings and beat them powerfully, sliding through the dead air of night.
But I did not go home. I flew around a while, trying to get a grip on the confusion in my head. But I couldnât. And I couldnât go home yet. I knew I would just lie there in bed, eyes wide open.
I turned and headed south.
F rom the air, The Gardens looks very different than it does from the ground. The roller coaster doesnât look nearly as tall or scary. And flying above the zoo area, you mostly just see the roofs of the various interior exhibits. The rest of it seems, at first, to be sparse woods, with cement pathways winding in and around and through, like curled ribbons.
Looking closer, I could see the separate habitats. The trees and the running stream of the tiger area. The open field for the bison, separated by a tall fence from the impalas.
I glided over to the lions. Most were sleeping by a tree. One female was ranging around restlessly, like she was looking for something.
It took a while to find the bears. I wasnât interested in the little black bears. Or the polar bears. I was looking for the grizzlies.
I wanted power.
There they were in a habitat of trees and rocks and a deep water-filled moat fed by a tumbling, rushing stream.
There were two, a male and female pair. Both were asleep, sprawled across the rocks. The male was bigger. Thatâs what I wanted. Big. Powerful. Fearless. If I was going back to the Yeerk pool, I wanted something desperately dangerous.
Leave? Move out of town? Give up? No way.
No way.
And my dad? I would still see him when he came to town. Thatâs what jets were for.
I landed and began to morph back. To revert to my true human form. My feathers melted and ran together and became pink. My beak broke into teeth. My talons became smooth toes. My insides gurgled and squished and sloshed as some organs grew and others changed and others reappeared from nothing.
The bear heard the sounds of my bones stretching, and the faint rustle of feathers melting together to become flesh. He opened one eye and looked at me without understanding or fear.
He was well fed. He had been in the zoo for many
Tobias began preening his feathers. Itâs something he has to do, but itâs also a habit he has when heâs bothered by something. he added dryly.
For a while I didnât say anything. I couldnât. I was too busy hating myself for bringing this up with Tobias. Tobias, of all people! He was already a casualty in this war. He was trapped in a hawk morph. And here I was thinking of bailing out?
What was the matter with me? I couldnât leave. Leave Tobias living in the forest? Leave my best friend, Cassie, to fight, maybe to die, so I could cut and run? Leave Jake and Marco and Ax? Why? Because my dad was lonely and I could take gymnastics classes?
No. I wasnât okay. I felt sick. What was the matter with me? I couldnât leave. I couldnât give up.
Tobias said.
I opened my wings and beat them powerfully, sliding through the dead air of night.
But I did not go home. I flew around a while, trying to get a grip on the confusion in my head. But I couldnât. And I couldnât go home yet. I knew I would just lie there in bed, eyes wide open.
I turned and headed south.
F rom the air, The Gardens looks very different than it does from the ground. The roller coaster doesnât look nearly as tall or scary. And flying above the zoo area, you mostly just see the roofs of the various interior exhibits. The rest of it seems, at first, to be sparse woods, with cement pathways winding in and around and through, like curled ribbons.
Looking closer, I could see the separate habitats. The trees and the running stream of the tiger area. The open field for the bison, separated by a tall fence from the impalas.
I glided over to the lions. Most were sleeping by a tree. One female was ranging around restlessly, like she was looking for something.
It took a while to find the bears. I wasnât interested in the little black bears. Or the polar bears. I was looking for the grizzlies.
I wanted power.
There they were in a habitat of trees and rocks and a deep water-filled moat fed by a tumbling, rushing stream.
There were two, a male and female pair. Both were asleep, sprawled across the rocks. The male was bigger. Thatâs what I wanted. Big. Powerful. Fearless. If I was going back to the Yeerk pool, I wanted something desperately dangerous.
Leave? Move out of town? Give up? No way.
No way.
And my dad? I would still see him when he came to town. Thatâs what jets were for.
I landed and began to morph back. To revert to my true human form. My feathers melted and ran together and became pink. My beak broke into teeth. My talons became smooth toes. My insides gurgled and squished and sloshed as some organs grew and others changed and others reappeared from nothing.
The bear heard the sounds of my bones stretching, and the faint rustle of feathers melting together to become flesh. He opened one eye and looked at me without understanding or fear.
He was well fed. He had been in the zoo for many
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