The Stranger Read Online Free PDF

wants to surrender and cry and admit that our worst instincts have won.
    Underneath the large pink lettering, in a slightly smaller font, was the tagline: FUNNIEST GAGS EVER!
    Gags?
    He clicked on the link for the “featured products you purchased!” The top item was for a “SUPER NEW Fake Pregnancy Test!” Adam just shook his head. The normal price of $34.95 had a red slash through it in favor of the sale price $19.99, and then, in black italics underneath that,
“You save $15!”
    Well, great, thanks for the savings. I sure hope my wife didn’t pay retail!
    The item shipped in twenty-four hours with “discreet packaging.” He read farther down the page:
    Use it the same way you would a real pregnancy test!
    Urinate on the strip and read the results!
    They show up positive every time!
    Adam’s mouth felt dry.
    Scare the bejesus out of your boyfriend or your in-laws or your cousin or your professor!
    Cousin and professor? Who the hell wants to scare a cousin or professor into thinking . . . Adam didn’t even want to go there.
    There was a warning in small print on the bottom.
    CAUTION: This item has the potential to be used irresponsibly. By completing and submitting the form below, you agree not to use this product for purposesthat may be illegal, immoral, fraudulent, or hurtful to others.
    Incredible. He clicked the item image and zoomed in on the packaging. The test was a white strip with a red cross indicating pregnancy. Adam racked his brain. Was that the test Corinne had used? He didn’t remember. Had he even bothered looking? He couldn’t be sure. They all looked the same anyway, didn’t they?
    But he did recall now that Corinne had done the test while he was home.
    That was new for her. With Thomas and Ryan, Corinne had greeted him at the door with a big smile and told him the news. But this last time, she had wanted him there. He remembered that. He had been lying in bed, flipping stations on the television. She had gone into the bathroom. He thought the test might take a few minutes, but that wasn’t the case. She had come running out of the bathroom with the strip.
    “Adam, look! I’m pregnant!”
    Had the strip looked like this?
    He didn’t know.
    Adam clicked the second link and just dropped his head into his hands.
    FAKE SILICONE BELLIES!
    These came in various sizes: First trimester (1–12 weeks), second trimester (13–27 weeks), third trimester (28–40 weeks). There was also an extra-large size and one for twins, triplets, and evenquadruplets. There was a photograph of a beautiful woman gazing lovingly at her “pregnant” belly. She wore wedding-gown white and held lilies in her hand.
    The sales pitch on the top read:
    Nothing throws you in the spotlight like being pregnant!
    And underneath that, a less subtle pitch:
    Get better presents!
    The product was made of “medical-grade silicone” that the site described as “the closest thing to skin invented so far!” On the bottom, there were video testimonials from “real Fake-A-Pregnancy clients.” Adam clicked on one. A pretty brunette smiled into the camera and said, “Hi! I love my silicone belly. It’s so natural!” She went on to explain that it had arrived in just two business days (not quite as fast as the pregnancy test, but you wouldn’t need it as fast, would you?) and that she and her husband were adopting and didn’t want their friends to know. The second woman—this time a thin redhead—explained that she and her husband were using a surrogate and didn’t want their friends to know (Adam hoped, then, for their sakes that their friends were not creepy enough to frequent this website and out them). The final testimonial was from a woman who used the fake belly to play “the funniest joke ever” on her friends.
    She must have some pretty strange friends.
    Adam clicked back to the cart page. The last item listed was . . . oh man . . . fake ultrasound sonograms.
    2-D or 3-D! Your choice!
    The fake sonograms