effort her husband made to play the role of the dutiful son-in-law, how he drew Wallace into every conversation, how he frequently refilled the older manâs glass with the single malt he was drinking, how he was polite even to Sybil, who had only gotten louder and sillier with age. At the end of the evening, he insisted on driving the elderly coupleâs car to the hotel to drop them off, even though Wallace swore he hadnât had too much to drink. Maggie followed in her car.
Sudhir got into the passenger seat after theyâd said their goodbyes and was quiet for the first few minutes of their ride home. Then he asked, as if picking up a conversation, âDo you really hate him so much? He seems harmless enough.â
âI donât hate him.â She took her eyes off the road for a minute. âWhat makes you say that?â
âThe fact that you flinch every time he touches you. Like when he tried to hug you goodbye. I mean, God, Maggie. Heâs old. Heâs probably worried he might never seen you again.â
She was quiet, knowing he was waiting for a response but unsure of what to say. The blankness, the still whiteness, that always fell on her when she thought about those years with her father, covered her now.
âMags?â Sudhirâs voice was gentle, tentative. âWhere did you go?â
In response, she turned left into the nearly empty parking lot of a shopping plaza and pulled into a space where there was no one around. âIâm going to tell you something, okay? Something I shouldâve told you long ago. But I couldnât.â
Sudhir shifted in the leather seat. âOh God. Donât tell me heââ he started.
She nodded. âYes. I mean, not exactly. That is, nothing happened. Not really. He just . . . It began after my mom got sick. He rented a hospital bed for her and put her in this little room we had off the kitchen. And then at night heâd come and get me. To lie in bed with him.â
Sudhir made a choking sound, and she put her hand on his arm and stroked it absently. âItâs okay. I told you. He didnât, like, do anything. He just, like, rubbed himself on me. He called it cuddling. He said we were comforting each other since Mommy was sick.â The old, familiar coldness began in her stomach and moved into her limbs as she spoke.
âBloody bastard. Iâll go to that hotel and kill him,â Sudhir swore, and she shook her head impatiently.
âHey. Stop it. Like you said, heâs an old man now. And God knows what he was going through, too, with Mom being ill and all.â
âHow long did it go on?â
âI donât know. I honestly donât remember. Those years when she was sickâitâs all a blur, yâknow?â
âSo it stopped when your mom died?â
âUh-huh. Before that. Odell was in college then, and he came home for a week. I mustâve said something that made him suspicious. I just remember him asking me all kinds of questions. Made me feel queasy, the look on his face. God. I still remember the look on Odellâs face.â Maggie gave a nervous laugh, the icy feeling now in her throat.
Sudhir undid his seat belt, leaned over, and pulled Maggie toward him. âOh, honey. How could you have carried this with you all these years? Without telling me?â
She spoke with her head buried in his shoulder. âI wanted to. But I donât knowâfor years I told myself it was essentially meaningless. I mean, when I think of what horrors some of my clients have suffered, this is nothing. Know what I mean?â
She heard an uncharacteristic harshness in Sudhirâs voice. âNothing? Is that why youâre shaking like a leaf?â
She half-heard him, remembering what had followed: Odell had confronted their father, threatened to expose him. âListen,â Odell had hissed. âYou so much as look at Mags wrong ever again,
R. C. Farrington, Jason Farrington