The Still of Night Read Online Free PDF Page B

hydrangea along the sidewalk, calming the tension his insistent questions brought. She could say yes. Her belief system did not condone premarital sex. She’d been raised in a Christian home with committed parents, taught right from wrong. But the truth was, that hadn’t stopped her before. Morgan’s love had overpowered her limp beliefs, and the consequences were a far, far more painful deterrent than all the convictions she held now.
    She looked at Dan’s sincere face. “Mostly.” He was trying to understand, and maybe she owed him some explanation.
    “I know a thing or two about safe sex, Jill. I teach it, remember?”
    Sure he did, a virile, healthy man who believed sex an inevitable part of any serious relationship. He brought the message to the high schools and was wildly applauded. She knew people at her church who felt the same way, in spite of the pastor’s sermons to the contrary. But she also knew from personal experience the devastating consequences of having a sexual relationship without that lifetime commitment. She could not make him understand without telling him more than she intended.
    He stopped on the walk outside Einstein’s Bagels and turned. “How do you know a relationship can work long-term? If you’re not willing to give it a trial period, how can you commit to a lifetime?”
    “Maybe I can’t.”
    “Why?”
    Because I know what it is to lose it . “We’ve been over this already. I thought we were working out terms of friendship.”
    With a sigh, he pushed open the door and held it for her. She ordered a potato bagel with cream cheese and green tea. He ordered the seven-grain and coffee. They took their respective bagels to the table and sat down.
    Dan rested his forearms on the table edge. “Okay. Let’s set the parameters.” He picked up the bagel and took a bite, chewed to one side and went on. “No intercourse, obviously. What about kissing?”
    “No.”
    “That’ll be hard.” He swigged his coffee.
    “We’ll get used to it.”
    He took another hearty bite. “What about doing things together? Like this?”
    Jill felt tears coming. “I don’t know, Dan. Sometimes, maybe.”
    “Do you want me to leave you alone?”
    The tears stung her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.
    He reached out and took her hands. “I wish I could just … well, we’ve already ruled that out.”
    She laughed and reached for her tea, sipping it while he munched his bagel.
    Dan studied her as he ate, then swiped his mouth with the napkin and said, “Really, Jill. Can you handle it if we still do things as a four-some? You and Shelly and Brett and me?”
    “I don’t know. Probably. Can you?”
    “Yeah.” He tucked the last quarter of his bagel into his cheek. “I’d rather do that than nothing.”
    She sniffed. “So, we just, um, go back to … well, not actually back to the beginning because …”
    “I kissed you on our first date. Do you think that’s what jinxed it?”
    Jill covered her face with her hand. “I think I’m just bad luck all around.”
    “Aw, Jill.”
    “Want another bagel?” She pushed her plate his way.
    “I guess. If you’re not hungry.”
    She sipped her tea, and it settled her stomach. “What’s important here is for Shelly to know there are no hard feelings between us. There aren’t, are there?”
    “Well, I wouldn’t say I’m happy about things.” He started on her bagel.
    “But you do understand. You’re not going to start a campaign of parking tickets against me?”
    He cocked his fingers like a gun at her. “That would not be professional, my dear.”
    “I think once we work through the emotions of it …”
    “Yeah.” He chomped down on the bagel and dabbed the cream cheese from the corner of his mouth. The rest of it disappeared in three more bites. He drained his Styrofoam coffee cup and crushed it with his napkin. “So. Buddies?”
    “Ohh …” She grimaced.
    “Come on. We’ll ride it off. Nothing like exhaustion to numb the