The Space Between Heartbeats Read Online Free PDF

yet.”
    “No, Dad, seriously start worrying, like right now,” I call across the room.
    “But what if she finally did it?” Mom’s voice quakes, her knuckles press into the hard counter, her hand trembling as if she has no control over it.
    Confusion roars through me.
    “I don’t. . .” Dad sighs. “I don’t want to think that way.”
    Mom’s eyes fill with tears, her lips wobbling as she covers her mouth and sniffs. She looks ready to fall apart.
    “Mom?” I reach out to touch her, but pull back before my fingers sail right through her arm. “What do you think I did?”
    “Let’s explore all the options first, okay?” Dad’s deep tenor is calm and reassuring. “I’ll give the school a call.”
    “I already have,” Mom snaps.
    “And?”
    Her blonde curls bounce as she shakes her head. “They don’t think she’s come in.”
    “Well, it might be worth going down there. Maybe her friends will be able to tell us something. If she’s run away, one of them will definitely know.”
    The words hit me like a wrecking ball.
    “Run away? Wait a sec, you think I’ve run away?” Concentrating hard, I put my hand on her shoulder, praying she’ll feel me, but nothing registers. She doesn’t even blink. “Mom, I haven’t run away. I’m right here and I need you guys to find me.”
    Mom sighs. “I’ll talk to Amber and Penny.”
    “Try not to worry. She’ll turn up.” There’s a tremor in Dad’s voice. His confidence is waning.
    “Yeah, I just—” Mom’s phone beeps. She glances at the screen and grumbles. “Dammit. That’s Jackie again. I better go.”
    “Let me know what her friends say. If no one’s heard from her, we’ll have to talk about what to do next.”
    “Yeah, okay. Bye.” She holds her breath before taking it off speaker and pasting on a smile.
    “Jac-kie.” Her voice is bright and breezy as she grabs her handbag and walks out of the kitchen, back toward her car.
    I follow her and make it out the door before she closes it on me. As soon as she opens the driver’s door, I scramble inside, wondering what I can do to make her hear me. I try whacking the dashboard and honking the horn, but it’s a waste of time—my fingers just swipe through them, no more substantial than air.
    The phone call lasts until we reach Big Bear Boulevard. After hanging up, Mom continues cruising toward the school, her fingers drumming, her mind a million miles away. She’s just slowing the car to turn onto Maple Lane when her phone starts ringing again. She looks at the screen and sighs before answering in her fake cheerful voice.
    “Hello, Gordan . . . Uh-huh.” Her smile falters as she listens, but her bright tone hides it well. “Sure, I’m free right now. I can meet you in ten minutes.” Mom flicks on the left blinker and makes a U-turn.
    “No,” I cry. “Go to school. Mom, find out where I was last night!”
    She brakes to let a couple of cars pass and I make a hasty decision.
    “Fine. If you’re not gonna go, I will.”
    I try to jump out the open window, but end up falling through the car door. I can’t feel anything as I land in a heap on the road—no thump, no bump, no pressure. My brain is telling me to register things that aren’t there, warning me that my body should feel bruised and shredded, but it doesn’t. The dichotomy makes my head pound, confusion warping my senses.
    Mom pulls away and I wipe invisible dirt off my clothing. I collect my bag, and for the first time I think about how strange it is that it appears with me, even though I’m not really here. It must be because the bag is with my body, in one of the many forests that surrounds Big Bear. I sling it over my shoulder and turn toward school. I need to find out what happened to me last night. I don’t want to die completely clueless.
    I don’t want to die at all.

CHAPTER FIVE
    WEDNESDAY, 10:23 AM
    Once I make it to school, I rush toward the dance studio, where I’d be if this was a normal school day. The