The Soul of a Horse Read Online Free PDF Page B

of loss of control, and it subsides when control returns.”
    That’s why so many of the DVDs and books begin with the art of gaining willing control of the horse’s body parts. Moving them this way and that. Backward, forward, and sideways. Both on the ground and in the saddle. That control buys safety, and respect from the horse because you are speaking the language of the herd. Who moves who.
    But looking back on Kathleen’s fear, I would adjust John Lyons’s phrase to read “Fear subsides when you
believe
that control has returned.” Because all too often I would watch Kathleen do a splendid job of controlling her horse, only to find out later that she didn’t
believe
she was in control. She was going through the motions, doing what the DVDs and books said, but she didn’t believe she was actually leading the horse. There was no connection. She was merely executing a learned exercise without understanding the point of the exercise.
    My fear threshold was much higher than Kathleen’s, probably because at some unconscious level I was actually relating to the horses. Perhaps embedded from my decades of work with dogs, of living inside their hearts and souls trying to draw you in. When Cash walked up behind me and touched my shoulder in that first Join-Up, there was an emotional exchange. I gave absolute trust to him when I turned my back. He returned it when he touched me on the shoulder. I know now there was no such exchange when Kathleen did her first Join-Up. She went through the motions but was petrified that the horse might walk up behind her and knock her down. There was no offering of trust. She knew it, and, unfortunately, the horse knew it as well. As wacky as it might sound to anyone who hasn’t been there, they do read these things. Unerringly. Horses will never be dishonest with you, and they will always know when you are dishonest with them.
    But I wouldn’t learn most of this until further down the line. At the time I was just beginning to realize that something was amiss, for both of us. Kathleen was having trouble giving trust to receive it, so she was unable to actually
believe
she was in control. I knew I was in control, but had no idea why. And when logic is removed from any equation, it makes me crazy.
    Our growing library of books and DVDs all said to begin at the beginning, which meant standing in the arena teaching my horse to back up or move sideways. Or come to me. These exercises would give me control, said the DVDs. And once I had complete control over how, where, and when the horse moves, I would then have a safe horse. And only then should I climb aboard.
    But I wanted to know why.
    I was also anxious to take the next step with Cash. After Join-Up, he was now looking to me for leadership, so off we went to the arena.
    I hear we learn by our mistakes.
    One of the training DVDs had spelled out three different ways to teach backup:
    See Cash back up, Method One.
    See Cash back up, Method Two.
    See Cash back up, Method Three.
    Why, I wondered, did I need three? Especially here, beginning at the beginning. One method would’ve been quite enough to confuse both of us this first time out.
    See Joe look like a circus clown.
    Clumsy and awkward do not adequately describe the moment. I had Cash’s lead rope in one hand and a three-foot-long Handy Stick in the other. A Handy Stick is a plastic rod used to extend the length of one’s arm so that, hopefully, one can stand back far enough to avoid the kind of knockdown Kathleen got to experience. The stick, sold, of course, by one of the DVD trainers, is not to be used for discipline, only for guidance. According to this particular DVD, I was supposed to be doing one thing with the lead rope and another with the stick.
    It was like trying to rub circles on your belly with one hand while patting your head with the other.
    I felt like an idiot.
    Those droll cocks of the head and quizzical looks from Cash were coming at me like machine-gun fire. I