than I had this entire time. I guess the finality of it was so much more real. All of our wandering around outside and acting like we were on some extended camping trip came rushing back. This was real. This was serious. We needed to kick it in gear or we were going to be in trouble.
The next few days were painfully slow. The fly overs were random and frequent. We had started going out only at night and keeping the cave closed. A couple of times my grandpa went out, but it was so dangerous he came right back. We still didn’t feel comfortable having a fire, and the last of the propane had run out. We couldn’t cook any eggs or rabbit meat without the fire, so all we were eating was canned beans and some canned vegetables.
Ian was growing worse. He was almost yellow and he had lost a considerable amount of weight. We all had, but there was something different about it. He had a strange cough, too. It wasn’t there all the time, but when a spasm came upon him it took him several minutes to recover.
After three or four days had passed he came out of the back of the cave with something. I had no idea what it was, it looked like a large woven box. He explained it was a trap for fish. He said you could put it in water and when you pulled on it, it closed up, almost like a net. I smiled at him. He had also decided that he was going to go out tonight. He was going to catch fish and try to cook some rabbit meat over a fire deep in the forest. He was going to try and hide it, and hope it couldn’t been seen from above.
I didn’t want him to go. I actually started crying as soon as he ducked out of the cave. It was so dangerous right now, and I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to him. I couldn’t sleep at all that night. We had left the cover back a little bit to let some moonlight in. I tidied up a bit, and tried to find some things to do but I ran out of energy. Not feeling a bit tired, I waited by the door of the cave.
Somewhere in the early morning hours I heard something. It was a faint rustling that seemed to be getting closer. The clouds had covered the moon, blocking its bright light. I thought about waking Grandpa, but I didn’t want to alarm him. It was probably just an animal. After a few more minutes, I heard it again. I thought for a moment that it could be Ian, but he had made it very clear that under no circumstances would he return tonight. I stayed perfectly still, hoping some wild beast hadn’t caught our trail and would soon be intruding on our hideout.
Just then, the clouds moved and light spilled down on the cold night. I saw shaggy fur. I focused for a moment and realized that it was hair. My heart beat so fast and hard I thought for sure it was audible. A head turned and I could see it was a man. He was tall and large, with a big coat that seemed to be camouflage. Tears started filling my eyes and I silently prayed that he would continue. He seemed to be looking directly at our cave.
He stood still for a moment before continuing on. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. I sat there, my back against the hard stone wall until the morning light broke on the horizon, and I fell into an exhausted and troubled sleep.
I awoke that morning to Ian returning. He had been successful, catching a few fish and cooking some rabbit for us. He looked terrible. I hoped it was only because he hadn’t rested the night before. I ordered him to bed and fed the boys some food.
As the afternoon turned into the evening, Ian didn’t get up. I figured he just needed some extra rest so I didn’t worry about it.
The next morning he didn’t get up, either. I went to his side and tried to wake him. He was feverish and barely could awaken to speak with me. I told myself he would be fine. That he just had a touch of the flu, but I knew in my heart it wasn’t true. I couldn’t believe this was happening . I took some deep breaths and tried to tell myself to calm down. I needed to get it