The Sin Bin Read Online Free PDF Page B

hankie.
    'Fucked you over ... I like that, no, I
do, really I do,' said Hart.
    'But, you don ' t ...'
    'Understand? Is that what you were
going to say? Oh, I think I do.'
    Hart nodded to Stauner, and the two
pugs sprung like thoroughbreds, 'Understand this — you ' ll see a good fucking now, laddie!' he said, 'bastardin' sure you
will.'
    ###

This
Charming Tam
    She was what you might call a
ten-pinter ... but that was alright, Tam had had at least fifteen.
    As he staggered across the dancefloor,
he weighed his opening line: 'How do you like your eggs in the morning?'
    Nah, they all knew to say: 'Unfertilised.'
    'Get your coat, you've pulled!'
    Nah, not subtle enough. At this hour — after
the last dance — required subtlety. Tam straightened himself, puffed his chest
as he eyed his target, up and down.
    'So,' he slurred. 'Is that a ladder in
your tights, or the stairway to heaven?'
     

Jailbait Stalemate
    (an
anti-romance)
    ' Fucksake,
Jonesy — the age ay that lassie, it ' s 50/50 you ' d get
hair oan it! '
    Jonesy stared into his pint, smiled,
swilled the last mouthful and belched. ' If there ' s grass on
the pitch — let ' s play! '
    Bandy Rab coughed into his fist, spoke
with a head-shake, ' That ' s what I ' m saying though — maybe there ' s no ' ! '
    The bold Jones didn ' t seem to register his friend ' s intoning. His mind was fixed on
hot-pants, high-heels, an exposed midriff and a rack he could only describe as
like two puppies fighting in a sack ... Great Dane puppies, likely.
    ' Fuck it, ah ' m gaun in! ' he said.
    Rab recoiled, ' Well yer on your own, mate ... no ' remember Errol Flynn? '
    ' Oh aye, ' said Jonesy, ' Ye goat a match? '
    ' Eh? ' went Rab, scoobied.
    ' No ' since Errol Flynn died! ' Jonesy laughed up his own joke. ' Ye goat a match? ... No ' since Errol Flynn died! Eh, get it? '
    He was still laughing as he strode off,
hitching up his belt buckle, sucking in his gut.
    As he crossed the pub floor Jonesy put
the eye on the young girl in question. Her St Tropez tan was more orangey the
closer he got — looked like a tandoori chicken, but that was okay; lassies were
just like tandoori chicken, he thought, the best bits were the white bits.
    Jonesy was still smiling as he reached
the girl ' s table, ' Hello there, ' he said, ' what you
drinking, love? '
    She looked up, she had eyes like a cow —
all lashes and dark mascara, too much maybe, like a schoolie playing with her
mam ' s make-up box.  She
stalled, seemed to hold her breath for a second or two whilst she eyed Jonesy,
up and down. Her answer could be heard on the other side of the pub: ' FUCK OFF, YA PAEDO! '
    Jonesy eased off the table, sharply,
stepped back.
    He sensed the error of his approach now
— and he could hear Bandy Rab ' s
laughter behind him, all the way across the pub floor. 
    Paedo! Fuck me, he thought. She was
young right enough, but maybe he could use that, maybe he could still turn this
around. He felt a mighty brainwave erupting on his boozy breath. ' So would ye mibbe like a sook on a lollypop
instead, darlin ' ? '
    ###

KILLING TIME IN VEGAS
    The City of Sin plays host to a
performance-enhanced bodybuilder who loses control with bloody consequences in Killing
Time in Vegas and an attempt to kidnap a billionaire's daughter goes badly
wrong in The Long Drop in this second collection of original short stories
by Irvine Welsh's 'favourite British crime writer', Tony Black.
    Find out how a victim of high school
date rape takes the ultimate revenge and explore the grisly aftermath of a bank
job with a crew who suspects one of their number has tipped off the cops.
    These American-set stories are
collected here for the first time in a 15,000-word anthology. Killing Time
in Vegas originally appeared in The Baddest of the Bad whilst the
rest of the collection featured in The Mammoth Book of British
Mysteries, True Brit Grit, Plots With Guns and Thuglit .
     

Killing Time in Vegas
    Man, I was itchin g . The temp ' was up at