The Shadows of God Read Online Free PDF

the ground, and the massive humps of the buffle seemed almost within arm’s reach. Once beyond the western mountains, America was flat as a board, with no hills to run aground on or in which to hide enemy artillery, but still it seemed unsafe to be THE SHADOWS OF GOD
    so close to such a herd.
    Adrienne had seen a buffalo before, in Louis XIV’s menagerie, when she was his mistress. She had been impressed by the size and savagery of that first bison. But she could never have imagined so many thousands, never extrapolate the din of their hooves pounding the earth like an immense drum, the furious bellowing that turned birds in the sky. The crack of one rifle or a hundred meant little to such a living earthquake.
    Elizavet, whooping, took a fresh musket from a servant and fired again.
    “God makes strange, powerful things, doesn’t he?” said a man on her left, his own dark eyes also wondering at the spectacle. He nearly had to shout, even from a few feet away, to be heard.
    “Good day, Father Castillion. Indeed he does,” Adrienne shouted back.
    The Jesuit flashed a bright-toothed smile and shook a lock of his gray-streaked chestnut hair from his eyes. “Look at you!” he exclaimed. “You look just like that little girl in my mathematics tutorial, when I presented a new problem.
    Never daunted or puzzled —just quietly excited.”
    She couldn’t deny it, though his observation made her feel suddenly frivolous.
    “Ah, I said something wrong. Look how your face transfigures. Surely you are allowed to enjoy yourself now and then.”
    “I do not know that I am. I have little time for distraction.”
    “Time enough, surely, to remind yourself of what you fight for? That the world is a beautiful place, worth saving?”
    Surprised, she studied his lean face for signs of irony. “Are you serious?” she asked. “That does not sound like a Jesuit talking. Shouldn’t you be preparing me for God’s kingdom to come, rather than urging me to love this one?”
    “This is God’s kingdom, or one of them. I cannot believe He made it beautiful merely to tempt us.”

    THE SHADOWS OF GOD
    “Again, quite unjesuitical.”
    He grinned wryly. “I’m fairly certain that if I were to return to Rome now—and open my mouth — I would be a Jesuit for no longer than the tick of a watch.”
    “You’ve lost your faith?”
    He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “When I was in Peking, my order was embroiled in a debate with the emperor. In fact, it wasn’t much of a debate—the Chinese emperor is absolute, and when he says his final word on something, it is final. My order, however, had difficulty accepting this, and so brought the matter up again and again. The argument had to do with conversions and pagan rituals. The emperor, you see, cared not in the least if we made Buddhists into Christians—but he insisted that the rituals of obeisance to the throne continue, even for Christians. He said they were secular, despite their clear religious content. He was inflexible, but we argued it with him every few years. I think the emperor saw more clearly than we, for, despite their pagan origins, the purpose of those rites was secular—to bind his subjects to him. We Jesuits could not admit it because that might be to allow that we Christians have the reverse problem: we pretend that secular ceremonies—the crowning of a king, for instance—spring from religion. It made me wonder: How much of religion arises from social necessity?
    “The thought festered in me until it produced a more terrifying one. I wondered how much religious ritual arises not from faith but to disguise the lack of faith? Like a child repeating, ”It is true, it is true“ to convince himself.”
    “An uncomfortable thought.”
    He nodded. “And they aren’t new thoughts, of course —indeed, in theology they are sophomoric. And yet the sophomoric is often true, yes? To me, the things I saw and heard in China proved to me that I had never had faith but only