if he got a bonus, we could go on vacationâanywhere I wanted to go.
âSo whereâs it going to be, Nev?â he had asked. âDisneyland? Hawaii?â
âI donât know. How about ⦠Seattle?â
It was the first place that sprang to mind. But once Iâd said it, I was pleased with my answer. I could picture the three of us moseying around the Pike Place Market in our rain jackets, ducking into a café for clam chowder when the heavens decided to open. âI liked the movie, Sleepless inâ â
âSeattle!â Grace said. âOf course, I loved that movie. That scene where they meet on the top of the Empire State Building and ⦠hang onââ Grace clapped a palm to her cheek. âNew York! Thatâs where we should go. Thatâd be cool, right?â
âGrace,â my father warned. âItâs Nevaâs choice.â
âUhâ¦â I was caught off guard. My thoughts scrambled to catch up. âNew York would be kind of cool ⦠I guess.â
âJust think about it,â Grace said. âWe can go to the top of the Empire State Building just like Meg Ryan and Tom Cruiseââ
âHanks,â I corrected.
ââand we can go ice skating at Rockefeller Center!â
Dad frowned. âItâs August, Grace.â
ââand we can picnic in Central Park!â Grace was beaming from ear to ear. It was hard not to get caught up by her enthusiasm.
âNow, wait just a minute,â Dad said. âThe destination is Nevaâs choice. Not yours.â
Grace pouted. âShe said it sounded coolââ
âMaybe it does. But if she wants New York, Iâm going to have to hear it from her lips, understand? Her lips?â
Two heads swung to me. And because they were staring at me, and because I did think New York would be kind of cool, I nodded. But a few days laterâonce Grace had booked the ticketsâI realized I didnât really want to go to New York. I wanted to go to Seattle.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
I rolled over in bed, trying to get comfy. It was no good. My belly felt heavy and it wasnât just my belly. This wasnât how Iâd wanted things to go. I knew, with the rational side of my brain, that people would find out I was pregnant sometime. But another part of me believed that as long as I could keep it to myself, Iâd be in control.
Giving up on sleep, I headed for the kitchen. I had visions of warm milk with cinnamon and honey, but as I had neither cinnamon nor honey, it would have to be plain milk. As I stood waiting for my mug of milk to heat in the microwave, a shadow appeared on the floor beside me.
âGeez, howâs a man supposed to get any sleep?â
I smiled. âDonât you have your own place, Patrick?â
âYou gave me a key!â
âFor emergencies. Three years ago.â
I removed my milk and turned around. Three years ago, Patrick had been a new divorcé, drowning his sorrows in the bars that were a lot closer to my College Hill apartment than to the East Greenwich home heâd shared with his wife. He never told me the details of the split and I didnât ask. I didnât need to. Patrick was a good guy, and a wonderful doctor, but when it came to women, he was like a fat man at a buffet: he couldnât help himself. After several weeks of him ringing the buzzerâor climbing up the fire escapeâto my apartment in the small hours of the morning when heâd had too much to drink, I relented and gave him a key. I expected that once Karolina moved back to Germany heâd start spending more time at his own home, or maybe buy himself an apartment in town. But three years on, I still regularly found him on my couch, snoring after a big night out or catching some zâs before an early shift at the hospital. The strangest part about it was ⦠it wasnât