The Second Silence Read Online Free PDF

thick maple-brown hair that fell in a boyish swath over his forehead, reminiscent of JFK, and pale blue eyes that seemed to generate a cold heat, like the sunlight reflecting off his silver Audi 100 parked a few feet away. He was dressed in khakis and a lightly starched blue shirt open at his throat and rolled up over muscular forearms, yet there was a contrived look to it all, as if he were aiming merely for the appearance of being relaxed and casual, traits that no one who knew him well would ever associate with Robert Van Doren. Even the gray streaking his temples seemed the work of a skillful makeup artist.
    One hand was in his pocket; the other clenched about his key ring. She watched him flex his fist repeatedly, knuckles tightening, easing, tightening. The tic in his right eye, which most of the time he managed to control, was acting up. It made her think of a twitching cat’s tail—a reminder that with Robert you never knew quite what to expect. It was how he maintained the upper hand with friends and enemies alike: by keeping them off-balance.
    ‘You’re not serious.’ A smile flickered at the corners of his mouth, then died. ‘This is a joke, right?’
    She drew in a breath that felt like something she’d swallowed that wouldn’t go down. The sultry July heat seemed to close about her like a sweaty fist. ‘Eventually, of course, I’ll be getting my own place. But for now I think it’s best that Emma and I stay here.’
    There was a beat of silence in which the only sound was the chirring of insects and the faint chug-chug-chug of a sprinkler down the block. Then Robert spoke. ‘Is it Jeanine? Are you still punishing me for that? I told you. I’m not seeing her. I was never seeing her. It was just that one time. A mistake. One lousy mistake.’
    He was lying, of course. She could see it in his eyes. He’d been sleeping around long before she’d caught him at it. It was almost corny enough to make her laugh: a cheap affair with his twenty-two-year-old secretary. But hadn’t she once been in the same position? A girl fresh out of college dazzled by her handsome, much older boss. Besides, Jeanine was no longer the point. She was just the excuse Noelle had needed to break loose. In a funny way she was grateful to Jeanine.
    ‘It’s not just Jeanine,’ she said.
    ‘Everything was fine before that,’ he insisted.
    ‘For you, maybe.’
    It wasn’t just their marriage. It was the house on Ramsey Terrace and the Filipino maid who came four times a week. It was the country club and the Junior League teas, the committees and fund-raisers, the endless rounds of cocktail parties.
    ‘Did the old lady put you up to this?’ Robert’s eyes narrowed.
    ‘Nana had nothing to do with it.’ Her grandmother had never much liked Robert, it was true, but she was old-fashioned when it came to marriage. ‘In fact, she said I should talk it over with you before I made up my mind.’
    ‘It sounds as if your mind is already made up.’
    ‘Yes.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Yes, it is.’
    She dropped her gaze to his long shadow slicing the driveway into two neat halves. Late-afternoon sunlight lay in tiger stripes over the grass beyond, and the summer heat seemed to press down like a hot jar. Birds called from the feeder and she caught the flash of a cardinal out of the corner of her eye. When she looked back up at Robert, she was shocked to see that there were tears in his eyes.
    ‘Jesus.’ He exhaled through his teeth, a faith whistling sound. ‘Jesus, Noelle, how the hell did it come to this?’
    How indeed? When eight years ago her first thought each morning upon waking was, How did I get so lucky? Shy, skinny Noelle Jeffers, still a virgin at twenty-one, how had she managed to catch the eye of her much-sought-after boss? A man who might have been a movie star for all the whispered speculation around the office, all the hearts that beat faster when he was near. She remembered clearly the first time he’d stopped