The Satanist Read Online Free PDF Page B

how can you, a woman working on her own, hope to? Supposing you are right, you’ll get no further than the fringe of it; then they’ll catch you out, and the odds are that you’ll end up as poor Teddy did. It isn’t on! You’ve got to put this idea right out of your head.’
    She gave a slight shrug. ‘Of course there’s a risk. I know that. But in my case I think you exaggerate. If these people did kill Teddy, it must have been because one of them found out that he was working for you. As you have turned me down that could not apply to me. Anyway, I’m a free agent, and, if I choose to do this, you can’t stop me.’
    ‘No, I can’t. But I can give you some idea of the sort of situation you will be faced with from the very start.’
    ‘I’d be interested to hear it.’
    ‘Well, all Black Magic rituals are based on sex or, to use more appropriate words, unbridled lust, perversion and obscenity. If you ever succeed in getting inside a Satanic Temple, you will be expected to witness and applaud acts which would turn the stomach of a member of the vicesquad, let alone a decent young woman like yourself. But that would be only after your own initiation. And that’s the hurdle you’d have to take before you could get anywhere. You don’t need me to tell you what a lovely person you are, and they are not going to give you a ring-side seat for nowt. Your entry ticket would be having to give yourself to the man who introduced you into the circle.’
    Mary Morden dropped her eyes again. ‘I can only hope that he wouldn’t be too repulsive.’
    ‘What!’ C.B. sat forward suddenly. ‘D’you mean you would?’
    ‘Yes.’ She looked up and met his glance squarely. ‘I’d better be frank with you, Colonel Verney. I grew up in the back streets of Dublin and became a cabaret girl. For reasons with which I won’t bother you there came a time when I had to have more money than my pay. Cabaret girls get plenty of opportunities to earn money the so-called easy way, and those who do don’t think of themselves as prostitutes. But, to be brutally honest, that’s what I was for the best part of a year. And, believe me, even with girls such as I was, who don’t have to go to bed with every man who asks them to, it’s not easy money. There are times when men who seem to be decent sorts turn out to be absolute swine, and to earn a few pounds that way is like suddenly finding oneself in hell.
    ‘Four years ago Teddy took me out of that. He knew the sort of life I had been leading, but all the same he married me. I’m not going to tell you that he was my one great love. The fact is, I’ve never had one; but I was terribly fond of him. He gave me security, a decent home, respectability, everything that any reasonable women could want except a child, and I made him a good and faithful wife.
    ‘But now that is all over. I’ve no family. I’m on my own again. With his pension and a little capital he inherited from an uncle I’ll be free from want; but by killing Teddy some fiend robbed the world of an honest, decent, kindly man, and robbed me of everything that made life worth while. So I’ll not stick at using my looks, and my body too, if need be, in an attempt to get even with his murderer.’
    For a moment C.B. was silent again, then he said: ‘If that’s the case, Mrs. Morden, there’s no more I can say; except to express my admiration for your determination and courage.’
    ‘Thank you,’ she said gravely. ‘I’m glad my confession hasn’t made you think too badly of me.’
    ‘Far from it. None of us has much choice about the sort of life we have to lead when we are young; and, frankly, it is a small grain of comfort to me to know that at least you are prepared for the sort of thing it’s certain you’ll have to face.’
    ‘That’s that, then.’ She picked up her bag. ‘Well, I won’t keep you any longer. Thank you for seeing me and giving me such a nice tea.’
    Waving her back, he said: ‘No,