The Return of the Black Widowers Read Online Free PDF

oftener.
    "Introduce me to the guest," Drake added, as he turned to take the drink Henry held out for him. Henry knew which he preferred, of course.
    Avalon said, "Doctor Doctor Arnold Stacey . . . Doctor Doctor James Drake."
    "Greetings," said Drake, holding up his glass in salute. 'What's the nature of the lesser doctorate, Doctor Stacey?"
    "Ph.D. in chemistry. Doctor Doctor, and call me Arnold."
    Drake's small grizzled mustache seemed to bristle. "Ditto," he said. "My Ph.D. is in chemistry, too."
    They looked at each other, warily, for a moment. Then Drake said, "Industry? Government? Academic?"
    "I teach. Assistant professor at Berry University."
    "Where?"
    "Berry University. It's not a large school. It's in—"
    "I know where it is," said Drake. "I did graduate work there. Considerably before your time, though. Did you get your degree at Berry before you joined the faculty?"
    "No, I—"
    "Let's sit down, for God's sake," roared Trumbull. "There's more drinking and less eating going on here all the time." He was standing at the host's seat, with his glass raised, glowering at the others as each took his seat. "Sit down! Sit down!" And then he intoned the ritual toast to Old King Cole in singsong while Gonzalo blandly kept time with a hard roll, which he broke and buttered when the last syllable was done.
    "What's this?" said Rubin suddenly, staring down at his dish in dismay.
    "P âté de la maison, sir," said Henry softly.
    "That's what I thought. Chopped liver. Damn it, Henry, I ask you, as a pathologically honest man, is this fit to eat?"
    "The matter is quite subjective, sir. It depends on the personal taste of the diner." Avalon pounded the table. "Point of order! I object to Manny's use of the adjectival phrase 'pathologically honest.' Violation of confidence!"
    Rubin colored slightly. "Hold on, Jeff. I don't violate any confidence. That happens to be my opinion of Henry quite independently of what happened last month."
    "Ruling from the chair," said Avalon stubbornly.
    Trumbull said, "Shut up both of you. It is the ruling of the chair that Henry may be recognized by all Black Widowers as that rare phenomenon, a completely honest man. No reason need be given. It can be taken as a matter of common knowledge."
    Henry smiled gently. "Shall I take away the pate, sir?"
    "Would you eat it, Henry?" asked Rubin.
    "With pleasure, sir."
    "Then I'll eat it, too." And he did so, with every sign of barely controlled nausea.
    Trumbull leaned over to Drake and said in a voice that was low for him, "What the hell's bothering you?"
    Drake started slightly and said, "Nothing. What's bothering you?"
    "You are," said Trumbull. "I've never seen a roll taken apart into so many pieces in my life."
    The conversation grew general after that, centering chiefly on Rubin's aggrieved contention that honesty lacked survival value and that all the forces of natural selection combined to eliminate it as a human trait. He did well defending his thesis till Gonzalo asked him if he attributed his own success as a writer ("such as it is," said Gonzalo) to plagiarism. When Rubin met the point head on and tried to prove, by close reasoning, that plagiarism was fundamentally different from other forms of dishonesty and might be treated independently, he was hooted down.
    Then, between main course and dessert, Drake left for the men's room and Trumbull followed him.
    Trumbull said, "Do you know this guy Stacey, Jim?"
    Drake shook his head. "No. Not at all."
    "Well, what's wrong, then? I admit you're not an animated phonograph needle like Rubin but you haven't said a word all dinner, damn it. And you keep looking at Stacey."
    Drake said, "Do me a favor, Tom. Let me question him after dinner."
    Trumbull shrugged. "Sure."
    Over the coffee, Trumbull said, "The time has come for the grilling of the guest. Under ordinary circumstances, I, as the possessor of the only logical mind at the table, would begin. On this occasion, I pass to Doctor Doctor Drake since he