The Price of Butcher's Meat Read Online Free PDF Page B

in your bedside locker a little self-help book I’ve written. It may help you to a fuller understanding of what’s happening to you here.”
    â€œGideon Bible usually does the trick,” I said.
    â€œWe like to think of them as complementary,” he said. “I’m really looking forward to monitoring your progress, Mr. Dalziel. On matters physiological, you will, of course, have access to our specialized medical staff. On all other matters, I’m your man. Anything you want to know, you have only to ask.”
    â€œIs that right?” I said. “So what’s for dinner?”
    He decided this were a joke and laughed like an accordion.
    â€œI can see we’re going to get along famously,” he said. “Now, there’s something I’d like you to do for me.”
    He pulled out this little shiny metal thing.
    â€œI’m not swallowing that,” I said. “And if tha’s thinking of getting it into me by some other route, tha’d best think again.”
    This time, mebbe because it were a joke, he didn’t laugh.
    â€œIt’s a digital recorder,” he said. “State of the art, practically works itself. What I’d like you to do, Mr. Dalziel, is keep a sort of audio diary. Make a record of your feelings, your experiences, anything that comes into your mind.”
    â€œYou mean, you want me to start talking to myself?” I said. “Like the nutters do?”
    â€œNo, no,” he said. “Not to yourself. Just talk as if you’re speaking to someone who knows absolutely nothing about you.”
    â€œLike you, for instance?” I said.
    He gave me a smile I could’ve played “Chopsticks” on and said, “I do in fact know a little about you. And I don’t want you to think you’re addressing me specifically. In fact, let me assure you, Mr. Dalziel, I will never listen to any part of it without your permission.”
    â€œSo if you’re not going to hear it, what’s the point?” I asked.
    â€œThe point is you saying things, not me hearing them,” he said. “You can keep a record of all those interesting little thoughts we so easily lose track of. Also you can ask yourself some of the really Big Questions. Think of it as part journal, part self-interrogation. I’m sure a man with your skills will be able to detect truth through no matter how cunningly woven a web of evasion and deceit. Will you do that for me?”
    I said, “Mebbe. But if I don’t get some grub soon, I may just swallow it anyway.”
    He went off, laughing. And that’s how I come to be lying here, talking to myself like a loony. Took another couple of days afore I dug Fester’s little toy out. Man in bed’s got to play with something. Nowt else to do. Newspapers these days aren’t fit to wrap chips in. Telly’s worse, and they don’t feed me enough grub to enjoy a good crap!
    Can’t even do a runner. First, I’ve got no clothes. Spoke to Cap on the phone and she says she’ll bring me some soon as they let her visit me. Second, got to face it, my leg’s getting there, but I’m not back to running mode yet. I dumped them poncy elbow crutches they gave me at the hospital and got Cap to buy me a stout walking stick. I’m okay for short bursts, but after a couple of minutes, I’m ready for a sit-down.
    Got to keep reminding myself, there’s a world out there, a real world with people in it, and pubs, and it’s likely full of scrotes pissing themselves laughing ’cos I’m stuck in here, talking to a machine.
    Let them laugh.
    I’ll be back.
    Sure as eggs.

4
    FROM: [email protected]
    TO: [email protected]
    SUBJECT: an exciting journey!
    Hi!
    Nothing from you—maybe your teaky bronzy doc is keeping you busy—nudge nudge.
    Ive made it to Sandytown—just finished unpacking in Kyoto House—built on a cliff top to catch all