The Perfect Comeback of Caroline Jacobs Read Online Free PDF Page B

Called me a crazy cat lady. And what’s worse,” he said, lowering his voice “she called Felonious a fur ball.” Henry whispered the last two words.
    Caroline lowered her voice, hoping it would have a calming effect. “Please, if I can just get Mrs. Arnold and Alysha started, then we can switch off when Tiffany gets here.”
    Henry plowed on as if Caroline hadn’t said a word. “I know that it might sound foolish to a person who doesn’t have cats, but they have feelings, too. They don’t like to be shouted at. You get that. Tiffany doesn’t.”
    â€œI know, Henry,” Caroline said. “I love your cats. But Mrs. Arnold has her daughter here, and Alysha needs to be somewhere soon.” She wasn’t going to tell Henry that Alysha was missing school today to have her portrait taken. The company that had done picture day at her elementary school had made no attempt to even capture Alysha looking straight ahead. Mrs. Arnold had e-mailed the pictures to Caroline, and she had been appalled. In one shot, Alysha’s head had been tilted left and down, capturing a skewed profile of the girl. In another, she was looking up, slack-jawed with her eyes half closed.
    â€œI’m not letting that cat Nazi anywhere near my girls. I don’t care where that girl has to be,” Henry said, motioning in the direction of Alysha. “No offense.”
    â€œNo offense?” Mrs. Arnold said. “Do you think you can be rude to my daughter and then be forgiven by no offense ?”
    â€œI wasn’t being rude to your daughter.” Henry sounded legitimately surprised.
    â€œNo?” Mrs. Arnold said. “Then who?”
    â€œI just want to keep my appointment.”
    â€œAnd you will,” Caroline said
    â€œIt’s fine,” Mrs. Arnold said. “Let his cats go first.”
    â€œThis isn’t a cat versus human thing,” Henry explained. “It’s the principle. I had an appointment.”
    â€œSo does Mrs. Arnold,” Caroline said.
    â€œBut mine is with you. Her photographer is late,” he said, pointing at Mrs. Arnold.
    â€œThere’s such a thing as acting like a gentleman,” Mrs. Arnold said.
    â€œI take offense to that,” Henry said. “Letting you go first would be sexist. Gender plays no role here. Ladies before gentlemen is completely patriarchal.”
    â€œI wasn’t talking about me,” Mrs. Arnold said. “I was talking about my daughter. She’s the one having her photograph taken. I thought it would be nice for her to see a gentleman in action.”
    â€œShe’s a girl, too,” Henry said, sounding petulant. “Still a gender issue.”
    â€œShe’s a child,” Mrs. Arnold said.
    â€œSo you get to cut just because you have a kid?”
    â€œHenry!” Caroline said. “Please.”
    â€œOh, for goodness sake,” Mrs. Arnold said to Caroline. “Please just take this man first. Me and Alysha will be fine.”
    â€œAlysha and I,” Henry corrected.
    â€œExcuse me?” Mrs. Arnold said, rising from her seat.
    At that moment, Caroline’s phone rang, stopping Henry before he could fire off his retort. She removed the phone from her pocket, apologizing for taking the call. She hoped it was Tiffany, calling to say that she was five minutes down the street. She looked down at the screen. It was Polly’s school.
    Caroline pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?” She listened intently. “I understand,” she said after a moment. “I’ll be right there. Fifteen minutes.”
    â€œYou’re leaving?” Henry asked.
    â€œI have to,” Caroline said, stuffing the phone back into her pocket. “It’s my daughter’s school.”
    â€œYou can’t just leave,” Henry said. “I have an appointment. You can’t just walk out. And what about those two? They have an appointment,