The Patient Read Online Free PDF

course – ‘friend, partner, thought I needed to be checked out.’ He was trying so hard not to be a patient. He was at a bar, attempting to impress this magnificent creature before him.
    To the doctor, he was the fiftieth patient she had seen since starting her shift early yesterday evening. The dayintern, meant to take over from her, had not turned up, so she’d been forced to stay on and do a double shift. So far, she had declared four people dead on arrival, had lost another four and resuscitated more than 16. This man was quickly irritating her.
    â€˜Allow me to judge whether you should be here or not. What is the symptom you have come in with?’ Her tone was terse.
    â€˜Well, yesterday I bumped my back on the cupboard in the kitchen. I was on my way out to dinner. We had an award ceremony, and then, after that, I went home. Everything was fine, until this morning I woke up around dawn desperate to pee – urinate, I mean. There was blood in my urine. I urinated a second time, and there was still blood. But during today it’s settled, and there’s been nothing since.’
    â€˜Has this ever happened before?’ She was already writing request forms for a full blood count, a study to make sure his blood was coagulating properly, an ultrasound of his kidneys and bladder, a mid-stream urine test to rule out infection and a test to check if there were cancerous cells in his urine.
    â€˜No. Never,’ he said.
    â€˜Any other illness? Heart, lungs, abdomen, et cetera?’ She glanced up at the clock – she had another three hours of her 24-hour shift to go and wanted this man out of her way.
    â€˜Fit as a bull,’ he quipped.
    She looked up at him, a pitying smile on her face. ‘Smoker?’ she asked.
    â€˜Very little now. I used to smoke a lot, but I cut down about a year ago.’ Tracy was always on at him to stop.
    â€˜OK. We’re going to run some tests, and then we’ll see what to do. I’ll also need to examine you.’ She wrote up the last of the forms in silence and stood up. ‘Please, you get into this gown. Take your clothes off first. I will return in a couple of minutes.’ She got up and drew the curtains around his cubicle.
    He undressed but wasn’t sure what to do with his underpants. Should he take them off or keep them on? He always had this dilemma when he was having his occasional massages. If he took his underpants off, the masseuse could misinterpret that action as a request for something more than a platonic massage. However, if he kept his underwear on, then it was inevitably in the way and diminished that deep relaxation he yearned for. He had an image of the blonde doctor and decided to keep his underpants on, and his socks. After slipping the gown on, with the opening to the front, he sat on the edge of the trolley, attempting vainly to keep his front covered. He then remembered an article he had read in a trashy magazine about how keeping socks on was a turn-off for women, so he quickly took them off. He was half-thinking about maybe taking his underpants off as well when the doctor returned.
    â€˜Lie down, please,’ she barked.
    First, she took his blood pressure and pulse, then she parted his gown and examined his abdomen. She pressed deeply, giving him a strong urge to pass wind. He resisted, but only just.
    â€˜Please roll over. I need to examine your back passage.’ She had already turned her back to him and was donning a rubber glove and opening a package of K-Y Jelly.
    â€˜Is that absolutely necessary?’ he said.
    â€˜Yes. Roll over.’
    Jonathan Brewster reluctantly rolled over and pulled his underpants down gingerly.
    The blonde beauty had a long and probing index finger. He winced, more with embarrassment than with pain. It was all over in a matter of seconds.
    â€˜OK. I need to take blood,’ she said. There was a distinct smell of faeces in the cubicle now. This added