The Old English Peep Show Read Online Free PDF

human population will have squeezed them out of their habitats. Dick says these fellows who insist on studying them in the wild are all to cock, and will be out of date in a jiffy. Thing is to know as much as possible about them in captivity. Gets letters from dozens of zoos every day, you know. Costs us a fortune in stamps.”
    Harvey laughed suddenly, with the tolerant amusement of the expert.
    â€œIt hardly costs us a penny, General,” he said. “Anything concerned with the welfare of the lions is an allowable expense. Be that as may be, Superintendent, Uncle Dick works at his book from nine to twelve-thirty every morning, and refuses to be disturbed. But there will be plenty to keep you occupied until luncheon, and then he can tell you all you need to know about Deakin’s private life, which was, to be frank, negligible. The General is going to Chichester shortly, so if you can think of anything you wish to ask him now, that would be convenient.”
    â€œI shall have to have a word with the Coroner at some point,” said Pibble.
    â€œComing out this afternoon,” said the General. “Always comes on the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month.”
    â€œHe’s one of our solicitors,” explained Mr. Singleton, “and I have enough business with him to make a regular appointment worth while. You can see him before I do, and if you both agree that this matter is as straightforward as it appears to me, you will be able to catch the four-forty back to London.”
    â€œAlmost all suicides are straightforward, in one sense,” said Pibble. “Anybody except a complete bungler can kill himself if he really wants to, and leave no doubt about how he did it. But in another sense almost all suicides are mysterious, because we find it difficult to imagine ourselves reaching that pitch of desperation or resentment or whatever in which we’d take our own lives. However clear the time and method of Deakin’s death may be, you’ll find most people wondering why he did it—I think you’d have told me if he’d left a note.”
    â€œNo note,” said the General. “Too tidy and secretive for that—early pot training, I daresay. But Deakin was a randy little fellow, always hanging around after Harvey’s serving wenches. You haven’t seen him, but he was the hairiest little runt I ever clapped eyes on, and you know what they say about hairy runts. It’s rubbish, of course—I’m a hairy runt myself, and I’ve always run neck and neck with Dick in the fornication stakes, and he’s nothing like as hairy. Course, if I’d been a hairy runt and a sailor—”
    He broke off with his bizarre giggle, suggesting in the aposiopesis whole littorals of dishonored womanhood. Mr. Singleton’s implacable drone brought the conversation back to the coxswain in the cold-storage room.
    â€œOur theory,” he said, “is that Deakin was crossed in love. I am forced to employ a number of attractive girls and, though I have no wish to speak ill of the dead, he was in the habit of pestering them. He was, to put it bluntly, an unprepossessing specimen, and they used to lead him on and let him down. I must admit that tempers tend to wear thin by this stage of the season. By the way, General, I doubt if we can employ Waugh for another year—he was incapable again last night. I’m sorry, Superintendent, but there is so much to think of. I’ve told Mrs. Hurley, who is in general charge of the girls, to find out what she can, but she has not yet produced a solution.”
    â€œFine,” said Pibble. “That’s all I can think of for the moment. What are you going to see in Chichester, sir?”
    Social unease stalked into the room, like a ghost walking over a live man’s grave. Pibble couldn’t conceive what solecism he’d committed, as both the men stared at him in withdrawn surprise. Then the