The No Cry Discipline Solution Read Online Free PDF Page B

cannot totally mold our child into the person we want him
    or her to be, of course. However, the ways that we respond to our
    babies, toddlers, and preschoolers will directly affect the way they
    will be as school-age children, which, in turn, will affect who they
    become as teenagers and later as adults. When it comes to the
    typical misconduct that parents of teenagers struggle with, the
    seeds of those behaviors were planted way, way, way back—when
    the teen was a baby and toddler. Those seeds were unintentionally
    watered and fertilized during the preschool and early childhood
    years until they became sturdy plants (or actually more like over-
    grown weeds that become very diffi cult to deal with).
    If you could get a glimpse of your children as they will be in the
    future, it would provide enlightenment and give you tremendous
    guidance as you move through your days. You can’t do that, but
    you don’t really have to. Since all children are remarkably similar
    in many behaviors, you can gain the benefi t of those families who
    have gone before you to plant the seeds for a more positive and
    pleasant future. Listed in the chart that follows are some specifi c
    examples of unpleasant teen behavior, compared to the preferred
    behavior, along with tips on how you can increase the odds your
    child will grow into a teenager and young adult who demonstrates
    the good behavior all parents hope for.
    This chart shows only a few of the most common and frustrating
    behaviors; of course, it’s not a complete picture of everyday life. The
    list could go on for many more pages, fi lling an entire book! How-
    ever, if you can begin to open your mind beyond the moment and
    look to where you and your child are headed in the future, you’ll be
    able to make better, more effective parenting decisions. Every single
    time? Every single day? No, not by a long shot! Life is complicated
    and days with children are hectic, but when you have guiding lights
    along your path, the end result is always, always better.
    20
    The Foundation for No-Cry Discipline
    Typical Older
    How to Help Your Young
    Child/Teenager Preferred
    Child Develop the Preferred
    Misbehavior
    Behavior
    Behavior
    Leaves dirty
    Puts dishes in
    Toddler: Have him hand
    dishes all over
    dishwasher,
    his dish to you when done
    the house
    runs it, and then eating.
    puts the dishes
    Preschooler: Have him put
    away
    his own dishes on the counter
    or in the sink.
    Child: Have him put dishes in
    the dishwasher, help unload
    and put dishes away, and
    follow a cleanup routine.
    Leaves piles of
    Launders
    Toddler: Have her carry her
    dirty clothes on
    clothes and
    own clothes to a hamper in
    bedroom fl oor
    puts them away
    her room.
    Preschooler: Have her put
    her clothes in a hamper in the
    laundry room or sort them
    into bins.
    Child: Have her help sort
    clean socks, fold T-shirts, and
    put away own clothes into
    drawers or on shelves.
    Talks back to
    Does as
    Toddler: Avoid excessively
    parents when
    told, even
    saying no to him. Tell child
    told to do
    if unhappy,
    what you want more often
    something
    without
    than what you don’t want.
    backtalk
    Preschooler: Politely correct
    inappropriate comments.
    Teach child how to express
    negative emotions in an
    acceptable way.
    Child: Immediately address
    every episode of backtalk.
    Defi ne behaviors that aren’t
    permitted. Be consistent.
    Planning Ahead, Looking Ahead: Your Child as a Teenager
    21
    Typical Older
    How to Help Your Young
    Child/Teenager Preferred
    Child Develop the Preferred
    Misbehavior
    Behavior
    Behavior
    Ignores parents’
    Acknowledges
    Toddler: Make requests
    requests
    a request and
    simple, clear, and appropriate
    does as asked
    to his age.
    Preschooler: Make requests
    from eye-to-eye level that are
    clear and specifi c.
    Child: Follow through with an
    action (such as taking a child
    by the hand) if he doesn’t
    respond right away.
    Forgets to do
    Does daily
    Toddler: Have him help to
    chores, such as
    chores