The No Cry Discipline Solution Read Online Free PDF Page A

greatly infl uence behavior—but personality

    Banish the Myths
    13
    Wade, age 4
    plus life experiences outside the family have an impact on how a
    child responds in any given situation.
    Parents are not 100 percent responsible for every action their
    child takes. Children are separate human beings from their par-
    ents, and from a young age their decisions begin to affect the path
    they will take in life. Children are not a blank slate upon which we
    Father-Speak
    “ My brothers and I were all raised the same way, but we are
    three distinctly different people, with very dissimilar person-
    alities and traits. We are so different that some people are
    surprised to fi nd out that we’re even brothers.”
    —David, father to Brian, age 6, and Josh, age 3
    14
    The Foundation for No-Cry Discipline
    can write whatever we choose, nor are they a piece of clay we can
    mold into any shape we desire. However, parents do matter, and
    they matter a great deal. How you raise your children will make
    an infl uential impact on the adult that your child becomes. There
    is a defi nite relationship between the way you raise your children
    and the level of happiness and success they will achieve in life.
    Positive, thoughtful, effective parenting has the greatest chance
    of reaping the reward of successful, happy children with healthy
    self-esteem who grow into successful, happy adults who experience
    a satisfying life.
    Myth: If you read parenting books, take classes, and learn effec-
    tive skills and tools, you will always be in control. Once you learn
    all the correct parenting approaches, your life as a parent will be
    trouble-free.
    Truth: Parents are people, and people are not perfect. No mat-
    ter how many wonderful skills we have, no matter how much
    knowledge we have, there will be many times when our emotions
    interfere and we don’t react in the best ways. As a matter of fact,
    the more we know, the more critical we are of ourselves. We begin
    to see the mistakes more clearly and judge our own faults more
    harshly. The best parents are the ones who try the hardest, yet
    they judge themselves by the strictest guidelines.
    Key Point
    \Everyone needs help as they raise children. No one should
    parent in a vacuum—we should take advantage of the many
    wonderful resources available to guide us, but with the
    understanding that we cannot possibly apply everything we
    learn every day. We can just do our best.
    Banish the Myths
    15
    Key Point
    \Parents who do the right thing 70 percent of the time should
    feel proud of the job they are doing.
    Keep in mind that children are people, too. They have volatile
    emotions, varying moods, and plenty of needs and wants. And
    children change and grow from day to day as they learn about
    themselves and their world.
    To aim for 100 percent perfection in parenting is an impossible
    goal. Seventy percent is about as perfect as you can get as a par-
    ent. This percentage can result in a happy family. Even with the
    usual bumps and bad moments, 70 percent will result in children
    who turn out well.
    Key Point
    “ Do not believe in what you have heard; do not believe in
    \traditions because they have been handed down for many
    generations; do not believe anything because it is rumored
    and spoken of by many; do not believe merely because the
    written statements of some old sage are produced; do not
    believe in conjectures; do not believe in that as a truth to
    which you have become attached by habit; do not believe
    merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
    “After observation and analysis, when it agrees with rea-
    son and is conducive to the good and benefi t of one and all,
    then accept it and live up to it.”
    —Buddha (2,600 years ago)
    16
    The Foundation for No-Cry Discipline
    Take some time to think about these and other myths, theo-
    ries, ideals, and expectations that you have believed. Ponder where
    these beliefs originated and why you believe them to be true. Then
    contemplate