The Neighbors Are Watching Read Online Free PDF Page B

because he didn’t want to talk about the abortion again, and he knew that was where Allison was going. He’d never suffered a moment of guilt over the act itself, knowing in his heart that it was the right thing to do, but he knew Allison had. He felt bad about that and sorry that it had caused her pain. But at the same time, he didn’t feel responsible for her pain. It had been a joint decision—he was clear on that—and he would have made the same one now even if Allison wouldn’t. He understood why she’d bring it up, but he wasn’t sure it was fair.
    “You know that those two things have nothing to do with each other,” he told her quietly.
    “That’s the problem, Joe, I don’t. You should have told me. It would have made a difference.”
    “Allison, we’d just met. We didn’t know … We weren’t ready.”
    “We could have been ready,” Allison said miserably. “We’re married, aren’t we?”
    “Yes, now,” he said. “But that isn’t what this is about, is it? I can’t undo the past, Allison. This … What’s happening now is as much a surprise to me as it is to you. I know you’re upset and you have a right to be. But let’s deal with it together.”
    “I have to deal with it, don’t I?” she said. “It’s not like I have a choice.”
    He’d felt hopeful then, despite the bitterness in her tone. As betrayed as she felt, it still seemed like she was willing to try to work with him. That night, after they’d both been lying there awake for hours absorbing the shock, she’d let him make love to her. His hope turned to relief, Joe remembered,and he was so grateful to her. He took it to mean she could get past it, that she was going to stand by him. It was like having make-up sex before the fight had a chance to get really ugly. But now Joe was starting to think of it as good-bye sex because that was the last time Allison had let him come near her.
    They’d talked about Diana again—no way to avoid it, really—but Allison quickly began sealing herself off behind a wall of hurt and indignation. And liquor. She’d gone from a glass of wine at night to full bottles within what seemed like days. Maybe he hadn’t noticed her slide because Allison never really seemed to get drunk—just quiet and detached. He didn’t want to fight with her, although the silent treatment was probably just as bad, but he was starting to feel sick of feeling sorry. And then too he missed the easiness of their affection, conversation, and companionship. He missed
her
.
    Joe gave his dark hair (graying but still thick, thank you very much) a pat in the mirror and grabbed his keys off the dresser. Yvonne’s letter was still sitting there—a neatly folded bombshell—and Joe wondered why he hadn’t destroyed it or put it away. It wasn’t as if he needed to read it again, he’d already committed its brief contents to memory.
    Dear Joe
,
    You wouldn’t have been my choice, then or now. But it’s your turn. Until now you’ve never given either one of us a thing. But Diana has her own mind and will. I have to believe that you’ll do the right thing by her. It’s pretty clear she’s already made some bad choices, but my mother’s heart knows her sweetness. She’s a good person, Joe. And it’s your blood running through her
.
    Yvonne
    She’d always had that way with words, Joe thought, always had that poet’s eye. He’d envied that about her. But she was just as headstrong as her daughter had turned out to be. Yvonne wanted a baby and Yvonne got ababy. Joe had just happened to be at the right place at the right time and she’d manipulated him and used him to get what she wanted. He’d had
no
choice in it at all. It made him angry still. A woman’s right to choose—it was all you ever heard about. What about a man’s right to determine what happened to the rest of his life? That line about doing the right thing killed him. Only a devil would refuse shelter to a pregnant seventeen-year-old who