The Museum of Heartbreak Read Online Free PDF Page B

got wrong.
    â€œSo, you try to kill anyone new today?”
    â€œA whole week and still that joke hasn’t gotten old, yeah?” I asked.
    â€œKilling is never a joke, Penelope,” he said sternly.
    â€œYou get any new girls’ numbers today?”
    â€œThirty-seven,” he said.
    I pointed at the pitcher of water. “Get up. Get to work.”
    He sighed and stretched like he was waking up, then bumped around me, filling the glasses, water sloshing off the top onto the tablecloth. How could someone so uncoordinated create those beautiful drawings? Speaking of, maybe this was finally the time to broach it . . .
    â€œYou draw any more of those pictures with the tiny dinosaurs? I really liked them.”
    â€œNo,” he said, an ornery expression on his face, his shouldersbunched up in an irritable shrug. Okay, then—subject dropped.
    â€œDid I tell you Audrey wants me to join French Club with her and Cherisse ? She thinks we need to ‘expand our social circles.’ I think Cherisse would rather burn the whole school to the ground than include me in her social circle.”
    He snorted.
    Emboldened, I continued. “Remember that time she scolded me for using the phrase ‘killing two birds with one stone’?” I mimicked her prim reprimand: “ ‘Um, as a vegan, I prefer the phrase “feeding two birds with one seed.” It’s more humane.’ Whatever. Doesn’t stop her from wearing her stupid expensive suede boots.”
    I was just getting warmed up.
    â€œOr that time she was grossed out because there was cat hair on my coat and she said it was unhygienic?” I said, reflexively wiping my clothes for any stray cat hair before continuing. “As a vegan , you think she’d be a bit kinder about animals.”
    On fire!
    â€œRemember that time she brought a whole box of fancy chocolate back from Paris, and then as soon as I had a second piece, she lectured us on the dangers of fat and the virtues of willpower? Who does that?”
    I was unstoppable!
    â€œAt least she finally knows my name now. I think Audrey had to introduce her to me like eleven times before she could remember it. But I’m still convinced she knew it and was pretending not to remember. . . .”
    Eph wasn’t saying anything.
    â€œWhy aren’t you saying anything?” I demanded.
    He shrugged. “I don’t know . . . maybe Audrey’s right.”
    â€œWhat? About Cherisse?”My voice came out in a disbelieving squeak.
    He scoffed. “No fucking way. I meant about the circle socials.”
    â€œSocial circles.”
    â€œWhatever, you know what I mean.”
    â€œI like my social circle! I have you and Audrey. Why would I need anyone else? We make a perfect social triangle, right?”
    He didn’t respond.
    â€œWait a minute, are you guys trying to dump me?” I tried to sound jokey, but I hated the note of vulnerability that crept in.
    â€œThat is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” he scoffed. “Stop being absurd.”
    Even though he was actually saying something nice, his response was so simultaneously dismissive and patronizing, I immediately wanted to burst into tears and kick him in the knees.
    Luckily for all parties involved, at that second my mom called out, “Time to eat!”
    As our moms entered the room, I fell into a seat across the table from Eph, scowling.
    Every time he and I made eye contact, he’d laugh quietly to himself, like he thought it was hilarious how absurd I was being, like I was the biggest absurd person in Absurd Town, like I was the freaking President Emperor Queen-Elect Grand Absurd of Absurd Town.
    Jerk.
    Ellen began spooning pasta onto everyone’s plates, while my mom brought in a big steaming bowl of tomato sauce.
    I settled back in my chair, pointedly ignoring Eph, watching asour dads entered the dining room, deep