The Most Beautiful Woman in Town Read Online Free PDF Page B

size.”
    â€œAnd what’s a desirable size?” I asked.
    â€œYou’ll see.”
    Each night when I got home she’d ask me the same question.
    â€œDid you punch your sides today?”
    â€œOh, hell yes!”
    â€œHow many times?”
    â€œ400 punches on both sides, hard.”
    I would walk down the streets punching at my sides. People looked at me but it didn’t matter after a while because I knew that I was accomplishing something and they weren’t. ..
    Things were working, marvelously. I came down from 225 to 197. Then from 197 to 184. I felt ten years younger. People remarked about how good I looked. Everybody except Harry the truck driver. Of course, he was just jealous because he never got into Sarah’s panties. His tough shit.
    One night on the scales I was down to 179.
    I said to Sarah, “Don’t you think we’ve come down enough? Look at me!”
    The things on my sides were long gone. My belly hung in. My cheeks looked as if I were sucking them in.
    â€œAccording to the charts,” said Sarah, “according to my charts, you’ve not yet reached a desirable size.”
    â€œLook,” I told her, “I’m six feet tall. What is the desirable weight?”
    And then Sarah answered me quite strangely:
    â€œI didn’t say ‘desirable weight,’ I said, ‘desirable size.’ This is the New Age, the Atomic Age, the Space Age, and most important the Age of Overpopulation. I am the Savior of the World. I have the answer to the Overpopulation Explosion. Let others work on Pollution. Solving Overpopulation is the root; it will solve Pollution and many other things too.”
    â€œWhat the hell are you talking about?” I asked, ripping the cap off a bottle of beer.
    â€œDon’t worry about it,” she answered, “you’ll find out.”
    Then I began to notice, as I stepped on the scales, that although I was still losing weight I didn’t seem to be getting any thinner. It was strange. And then I noticed that my pantscuffs were hanging down over my shoes — ever so slightly, and that my shirt- cuffs were hanging down a bit over my wrists. When I drove to work I noticed that the steering wheel seemed further away. I had to pull the car seat up a notch.
    One night I got on the scales.
    155.
    â€œLook here, Sarah.”
    â€œYes, darling?”
    â€œThere’s something I don’t understand.”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI seem to be shrinking.”
    â€œShrinking?”
    â€œYes, shrinking.”
    â€œOh, you fool! That’s incredible! How can a man shrink? Do you really think that your diet is shrinking your bones? Bones don’t melt! Reduction of calories only reduces fat. Don’t be an idiot! Shrinking? Impossible!”
    Then she laughed.
    â€œAll right,” I said, “come here. Here’s a pencil. Now I’m gonna stand against this wall. My mother used to do this with me as a kid when I was growing. Now put a line right there on the wall where the pencil hits after you place it straight across the top of my head.”
    â€œAll right, silly,” she said.
    She drew the line.
    A week later I was down to 131. It was happening faster and faster.
    â€œCome here, Sarah.”
    â€œYes, silly boy.”
    â€œNow, draw the line.”
    She drew the line. I turned around.
    â€œNow see here, I’ve lost 24 pounds and 8 inches in the last week. I’m melting away! I’m now five feet two. This is madness! Madness! I’ve had enough. I’ve caught you cutting off my pants legs, my shirt sleeves. It won’t work. I’m going to begin eating again. I think that you are some kind of witch!”
    â€œSilly boy …”
    It was soon after that the boss called me into the office.
    I climbed into the chair across from his desk.
    â€œHenry Markson Jones II?”
    â€œYes, sir?”
    â€œYou are Henry Markson Jones II?”
    â€œOf