The Midnight Dog of the Repo Man Read Online Free PDF

say you never hear the round that hits you. But in this case, I did. Montgomery squeezed the trigger and I heard a satiny, sibilant sound, followed by a blast of wet that in the first instant I thought might be blood but immediately realized was a stream of water.
    It was a squirt gun. It took me several seconds to process this completely unexpected development. I was not dead. “Cut it out!” I barked. I wiped my eyes, glanced down at my sodden clothes, and then glared at Montgomery, who seemed a little taken aback that he had actually shot water at me. When I strode over and yanked the plastic weapon out of his hands he flinched and sort of shrank down.
    â€œWhat the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded. “You can’t run around squirting people.”
    He worked his mouth. He seemed to be unhappy that I was so much larger than he was. “I …,” he started to say, his bluster diminished now that I had the gun. For a moment we both thought I was going to return fire, and then I threw the toy into the grass.
    â€œGive me your keys,” I ordered sternly, my hand out, palm flat.
    He contemplated refusing me and I gave him a look and he recontemplated, digging into his pocket and meekly handing them over. Now he could climb into the Cadillac to clean his crap out of it without any chance of starting the engine and roaring off. “Okay, now get your stuff. Anything you want to keep, take it. I’ll help you carry your suitcases to the boat.”
    â€œYou’re going to be hearing from my lawyer,” Montgomery warned darkly, some of his bravado returning in what I considered to be an inappropriate response to the situation.
    â€œYeah? Start off by telling him you threatened me with what you implied was a deadly weapon and see what kind of check he thinks you should write me. In fact, you got your checkbook on you?”
    Montgomery snorted in disbelief. “You don’t really expect me to give you a check.”
    â€œGet it out.”
    â€œYou’re out of your mind.”
    â€œYou want, I’ll pat you down and find it. I don’t pat gently.”
    He thought about it. “Okay, this is for sure a crime,” he said, pulling his checkbook out of his back pocket. It was a nice leather job with a Montblanc pen shining in the seam. “You’re threatening me with violence for money, that’s robbery.”
    â€œNo, that’s extortion, and it’s not what we’re doing. You owe thirty-five hundred dollars to Kenny and Mark. Make the check out to Mark Stevens.”
    â€œThose guys?” Montgomery said incredulously. “You have to be kidding.”
    I just looked at him.
    â€œThe dock isn’t even level,” he spat.
    â€œThirty-five hundred dollars,” I repeated.
    Montgomery angrily scrawled in his checkbook, then agitatedly ripped the check out. When he handed it to me I reached a little farther and wrapped his hand in mine. “This check bounces and I’m going to come collect on it myself.” I squeezed his hand a little, feeling the bones uneasily rearranging themselves under my grip. “Plus penalties and interest. You won’t
like
my penalties. We clear?”
    Montgomery gazed down the lake at something, his lips twisted sourly. I squeezed harder and his eyes snapped back to mine.
    â€œWe clear?”
    â€œYeah, okay, fine,” he said, snatching his hand away.
    I walked over to the car, holding the little remote in my hand. “You got anything in the trunk?” I inquired.
    I punched the button and something hurtled out of the trunk and tackled me. I was so startled I staggered back and fell down hard on my butt. It was a wriggling, licking, whining
dog,
black and brown and white, with enormous ears and a tongue as wet as a squirt gun. The poor guy was almost frantically happy to see me, dancing around in my lap and kissing my face. “Okay, okay!” I said, pushing