The Lie of You: I Will Have What Is Mine Read Online Free PDF Page B

thrown by the lamp onto the sloping plane of his drawing table. I joined him in there after Billy was asleep because I do love to watch him draw. He is such a perfectionist in his work. I’ve learned not to talk to him while he works. So I sat there correcting proofs, looking up from time to time to watch and admire him. His concentration is so intense that he creates a kind of force field around him that cannot be crossed.

Heja
     
    MAY
     
    Kathy is a creature of habit. Every day she arrives at work with a small polystyrene cup of cappuccino. She carries a soft red leather pouch bag worn across her body. I have watched her take out her office keys. The bag has zipped pockets on either side and she keeps all her keys in the left pocket. As soon as she has unlocked her glass-panelled office she lifts her bag over her head and places it on the lower bookshelf at the side of her desk. Then she comes out with her coffee and talks to Aisha, who sits outside her office. They consult the diary and then, usually, Kathy walks over to our section. We are herded together in a group of five desks with our terminals emitting faint radiation over our breasts. She is always friendly in the mornings, chirpy I think is the right word. She asks us how we are getting on and makes encouraging comments.
    The more I watch her the more I learn.
    Today something had happened to throw her routine. As she came up the stairs she did not have her little white cup with her. She rushed into the ladies toilet. She came out some minutes later. Her trousers were wet and stained. It looked as if she had bled onto them. She walked awkwardly to her office and fumbled to open the door. I walked over to get a better view. I saw Aisha go through to her and close the door behind her. They had an animated conversation for a minute or two, Kathy gesticulating. Then Aisha took off her long black cardigan and gave it to Kathy. She put it on and buttoned it up carefully. She rummaged through her bag, pulled out her wallet and then dropped the bag in its usual place by the side of her desk.
    I was walking back to my desk as I heard her say to Aisha, ‘I’ll be as quick as I can. Thanks so much, Aish.’
    She hurried down the stairs to the exit with barely a nod in our direction.
    I knew this was my chance. I walked up to Aisha’s desk, waiting until she was on the phone.
    ‘I need to borrow the Who’s Who .’
    ‘Sure,’ said Aisha, putting her hand over the receiver. ‘You know where Kathy keeps it?’
    I nodded. The Who’s Who sits with the other reference books in the bookshelves by the side of her desk. I walked over slowly and bent down to pick up the book. My back shielded my hands from Aisha’s view. As I bent down I reached over to her red bag, unzipped the left pocket, took out the keys, zipped it up again, stood up and slipped her bunch of keys into my jacket pocket. I walked out of her office holding the Who’s Who . Aisha was still talking on the phone.
    I had very little time. I flipped through the Who’s Who for a few minutes. Then I got up and walked down the stairs and out of the building. Our offices are in Primrose Hill. We are close to a parade of shops. I did not want to use the first place I came to, a shoe-repair bar. I walked further down the road to the hardware shop. I waited while an Italian woman spoke at length to the man behind the counter. I could feel the tension mounting in me so I started to do my breathing exercises to keep calm. Finally he turned to me.
    I took her keys from my pocket and said, ‘I need a set of these, please. Can you do them straight away?’
    He fingered the bunch and said it would take half an hour. I hesitated. She might be back before I had them. I would have to replace them later in the day. I could do it as long as she did not leave for meetings all day, as she sometimes did. And then it came to me. Even if I did not replace the keys it would not matter. She would think she had misplaced them. She