The Libertine Read Online Free PDF Page B

redeem her
in her husband’s eyes. She had yearned for a child all these years, and now it
had become a matter of life and death. A tide of doubt had forced her to pull
free from his spell, for his intimate actions not only made her believe in his
abilities, they also made her aware of his potential power over her. She
remembered the way it had felt. A wave of arousal assailed her.
    Flustered, she raised her hand to her throat. The heated
physical reaction to her own thoughts shocked her. That a man could affect her
so intensely was beyond her experience, and he had done so when she was alone
with him as well as in mere memories. She had escaped and she knew she should be
glad of that, turning away from a dangerous situation that she shouldn’t have
entered into in the first place. Instead, she was craving something entirely
different, more of the same. It was as if she were being pulled in by the
mystery, by the promise and the thrill.
    A moment later her dangerous thoughts were interrupted. The
nursemaid entered the room with young Rab and Tam, Tamhas and Jean’s twin sons,
dressed and ready for their morning in the nursery. Chloris was grateful. She
always warmed at the sight of them. Barely three years old and adorable little
men they were already. They always appeared somber and serious when presented to
their parents, but Chloris had also observed them running amok in the gardens
and it was those times she enjoyed the most. Often she would join them, taking a
seat to observe and encourage their games.
    Jean kissed both boys on the forehead and straightened their
neckties and collars. When the boys turned to face their father, Tamhas mopped
his mouth with a handkerchief, then nodded at the nursemaid and waved his hand,
dismissing them. Rab and young Tam bowed their heads to their mother and then to
Chloris, and then the nursemaid ushered them out. Chloris observed the family
scene wistfully.
    Jean caught Chloris’s eye when she turned back to her breakfast
and nodded over. “I warrant you are missing Gavin.”
    “Yes, I am.” It was the necessary response of a dutiful wife.
In truth she felt strangely adrift. She’d been born in Saint Andrews but her
place was in Edinburgh now. Besides, she was not sure Jean was entirely
comfortable with her staying with them at Torquil House on such an extended
visit.
    Mention of her husband also made Chloris feel an all too
familiar sense of failure. Gavin had sent her to the country to make her health
more robust, so that she could bear him a child. It was his sole desire these
days, which meant her role in his life went unfulfilled. Anger and frustration
often characterized his mood toward her, whereas they’d been friends at first.
He’d never been an affectionate man, but more often than not she saw disapproval
in his eyes when he looked at her now. It haunted her. More so since she had
left Edinburgh for Saint Andrews, because Gavin’s final words had been
terrifying, more threatening than anything he had said or done before, and that
set her on this outlandish path of action where she was willing to try anything
to make it happen.
    “I have to sit for the town council today,” Tamhas informed
them as he rose to his feet. “I will send the carriage back for you if you wish
to visit the market.”
    “Yes, we shall.” Jean’s expression brightened considerably.
    Chloris’s heart sank. She would be expected to accompany Jean,
when what she longed for was some time alone to unravel her thoughts.
    Jean was speaking again, and Chloris forced her attention
back.
    “I am in need of lace to trim a new gown. I want to look at it
myself, and my dressmaker informs me that there is a good selection available
from a new merchant. He imports the best Flemish samples and brings his wares to
the market.” Jean looked at Chloris expectantly. “Will you help me in my
selection?”
    “That would be most enjoyable.” Perhaps the distraction would
help her muddled thoughts, and