people.’ Next to the front door is a desk which used to belong to my nanna. Daddy says it’s worth lots of money but Mummy wants to
get rid of that next. It’s old and dark and she says it makes her depressed. On top of the desk is a knobbly orange vase. It’s full of flowers from the garden, and some of their stems
have bent and snapped. Mum tried to put too many in – she always does because she likes lots of flowers. ‘They give the house good vibes,’ she says. Under the vase are lots of
circles on the wood where the varnish has come off. It’s not fair as I always have to be careful putting my cups on furniture, but Mum can do what she wants with Nanna’s desk.
Supper was quick tonight – cheese on toast with a tomato on the side. The knife wasn’t very sharp so I bit straight into the tomato even though I hate the way the skin pops and the
squishy seeds shoot into your mouth. Afterwards I was still hungry but there was no time for more. ‘You’ve had enough, greedy guts,’ Mum said. I tidied the kitchen and she
hoovered the lounge. ‘Don’t just leave your plate to drain, Rachel. I want it dried up and put away. The cutlery as well.’
I wiped over the surfaces but my hands weren’t strong enough to wring out the cloth and it left big watery streaks on the table. Mum came in from the sitting room and tutted. ‘Oh,
I’ll do it, Cinders.’ She grabbed the cloth from me and squeezed it over the sink. Lots of grey water came out. ‘If you want something done properly, you might as well do it
yourself.’ She held her tummy away from the edge of the counter to keep her evening dress dry. Her body curved and her bottom stuck out, so that in her high heels she looked like a beautiful
flamingo. She had a bun on her head which puffed the rest of her hair out in a cottage-loaf circle. Ringlets came down at the sides, and round her neck she wore a black choker.
‘Where are you going?’ I asked.
‘Nowhere, we’re staying in. And you’re not to come down and bother us tonight. Take some water up with you. Daddy has lots of important paperwork to go over with Brian.
He’ll be very, very cross if we’re disturbed. I mean it, young lady.’
On the counter was a bottle of medicine and a spoon. Mum gave me some.
‘I’m not ill,’ I said.
‘Well you might be if you don’t take this.’
It was disgusting, and when she went into the other room, I put a chair up to the cupboard to get a glass. I don’t need the chair for the sink any more. As I reached for the tap, my school
tights slid down my hips and the pant bit hung low between my legs.
‘I need new tights,’ I shouted through to Mum.
‘I’ll have to stop feeding you,’ she replied.
I hear the adults laughing so I leave the banister and go back to my bedroom, put on my nightie then brush my teeth at the sink in the corner of the room. I can still taste the medicine under
the toothpaste. Daddy made me take an extra spoonful. It’s eight o’clock now and even though I don’t normally go to sleep this early, I’m really, really tired. Lying on my
bed, the sounds from downstairs come through the floor. A moment ago there was talking. Now it’s quiet. The key to the lounge door clunks as it’s turned.
I wake up later when everything is dark, and I’m dying for the loo. There’s the sound of furniture being moved downstairs. I slip out of my room and creep along
the edges of the carpet to avoid the creaky floorboards, and use the bathroom without turning on the light or flushing. On the way back I peep through the banisters. The door to the lounge is
slightly open. Inside a light is on, but it’s dim, like the lamp has been knocked over. The hallway is dark apart from a wavy pattern on the front-door glass where the trees outside blow in
front of a street light.
A man walks from the kitchen towards the lounge door. He has his back to me and he’s holding the ice bucket. Apart from that, he’s got nothing on. The
Hilda Newman and Tim Tate