The Last Straw

The Last Straw Read Online Free PDF Page B

Book: The Last Straw Read Online Free PDF
Author: Jeff Kinney
The boy is sleeping in the basket filled with clothes.] The caption reads: "ZZZZZ"
    I don't know how many hours I slept, but what I DO know is that I woke up to the sound of crinkling cellophane.
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    When I heard the sound of chewing, I turned on my flashlight and caught the thief red-handed.
    [Image: The man is scared as the boy jumps up from the basket.] The caption reads: "HA!
    MMMFF!"
    It was Dad! Man, I should have known it was him from the start. When it comes to junk food, he's a total ADDICT.
    I started to give Dad a piece of my mind, but he cut me off. He wasn't interested in talking about why he was stealing our lunch snacks. What he WAS interested in talking about was what the heck I was doing buried in a pile of Mom's underwear in the middle of the night.
    Right at that moment, we heard Mom coming down the stairs.
    89
    I think me and Dad realized how bad the situation looked for both of us, so we each just grabbed as many oatmeal creams as we could carry and made a run for it.

    Wednesday

    I was still really steamed at Dad for stealing our lunch treats, and I was planning on confronting him tonight. But Dad was in bed by 6:00, so I didn't get my chance.
    Dad went to bed so early because he was depressed about something that happened when he got home from work. When Dad was getting the mail, our neighbors from up the street, the Snellas, walked down the hill with their new baby.
    [Image: The couple greets the boy checking his mail.] The caption reads: "HEY THERE, FRANK!"
    90
    The baby's name is Seth, and I think he's about two months old.
    Every time the Snellas have a baby, six months later they throw a big "half-birthday" party and invite all the neighbors.
    The highlight of each Snella half-birthday party is when the adults line up and try to make the baby laugh. The grown-ups do all these wacky things and make COMPLETE fools of themselves.
    [Image: A lady sits beside the baby's cot and the three men are sitting.] The caption reads: "GOO GOO GOO GOO GOO!"
    I've been to every single Snella half-birthday party so far, and no baby has laughed once.
    91
    Everyone knows the REAL reason the Snellas have these half-birthday parties is because their big dream is to win the $10,000 Grand Prize on "America's Funniest Families." That's this TV show where they play home movies of people getting hit in the groin with golf balls and stuff like that.
    The Snellas are just hoping something really funny will happen at one of their parties so they can catch it on videotape. They've actually gotten some pretty good stuff over the years. During Sam Snella's half-birthday party, Mr. Bittner split his pants doing jumping jacks. And during Scott Snella's party, Mr. Odom was walking backward, and he fell in the baby pool.

    [Image: A man falls into the baby's bathing tub as the lady looks.]
    The caption reads: "
    WWAAUUGH!

    WHIRR"
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    The Snellas turned in those videos, but they didn't win anything. So I guess they're just gonna keep having babies until they do.
    Dad HATES performing in front of people, so he'll do everything he can to avoid having to act like a fool in front of the whole neighborhood. And so far, Dad has weaseled his way out of every single Snella half-birthday party.
    At dinner, Mom told Dad he HAS to go to Seth Snella's half-birthday party in June. And I'm pretty sure Dad knows that this time, his number is finally up.
    [Image: A man is touching the calendar.] The caption reads: "JUNE"

    Thursday

    Everybody at school has been talking about the big Valentine's Dance that's coming up next week.
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    This is the first year at my school that they've actually had a dance, so everyone's all excited. Some of the guys in my class were even asking girls if they would be their dates to the dance.
    Me and Rowley are both bachelors at the moment, but that's not gonna stop us from arriving in style.
    [Image: The three girls look at the boys stepping out of the limo.]
    I figured if me and Rowley scraped together some money in
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