The Last Leaves Falling Read Online Free PDF

his. I want to be here, I tried to transmit to him with nothing but my gaze. I want to learn everything while I still can.
    “Well,” he sighed, “I’m afraid we do not have the budget for adaptations to the building. I suggest you contact the Sunshine School, try to get your son admitted there, but in the meantime, while he can still get to his classrooms, Sora is welcome to stay.”
    Three months, two crutches, and one walker later, the time had come; I could no longer manage the hallways, and he did not want me littering his school with difficulties.
    •  •  •  •
    “I know you wanted to stay.” Doctor Kobayashi’s voice is gentler now. “I’m sorry.”
    I stare harder at the tree, cannot look at her as I say, “The principal was right, it would be impractical.”
    She nods, and is quiet for a moment. Watching me until I cannot stand it any longer.
    “Thank you for the book. It was very kind.” I reach into my bag and pull out the thin gray volume.
    “You’ve read them all?”
    I nod.
    “What did you think?”
    It wasn’t really what I thought, more like what I felt . But I don’t know how to put it into words.
    “They were beautiful.”
    Silence.
    She’s still watching me.
    “You know, everything dies, Sora. Eventually.”
    Er . . .
    I nod, because I don’t know what to say.
    “Everyone. Some people sooner than others, and that isn’t fair, but it’s a fact of life.”
    I study the tiny branches before me. How old is this tree? How many patients has it seen? Stopped seeing?
    “The samurai . . . they knew this. You can see it in their words, right? What matters is not how much time you have, but how you use it.”
    I . . . guess.
    I nod again, wait for her to continue, but she seems to be waiting for me. I hold the book out to her. “Thank you. I liked it. Very much.” I bow.
    She rests a hand upon the cover, and gently pushes the book back toward me.
    “Keep it for a while longer. You might find a need for them again.”
    “Thank you.”
    She waits while I slide the book back into my bag, and I feel her watching me. The shakes are not too bad today, but a rucksack zipper is small, dependent on the right degree of pressure, and I have to concentrate to coordinate the movements.
    I wonder if she noticed.
    When I look up, book finally packed away, Doctor Kobayashi folds her hands into her lap decisively and smiles.
    “What do you want out of life, Sora?”
    What? I think I might have recoiled; physically flinched at her words, but if I did, she does not show it. There’s no indignation in her eyes.
    “I mean, what do you really want?” She reaches across the table, squeezes my hand. “Because, we can make things happen you and I; use your time wisely.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “There’s a group of people who arrange for . . . they grant wishes. And I think you’re the perfect candidate.”
    “Wishes?”
    She nods.
    “Like what?”
    “Well, some people go on holiday, all over the world. They seek tigers on safari, or go to the Olympics and meet their country’s fastest runner. Some people skydive, or get a tattoo, or record an album. Anything, really. You think of it, they make it happen.”
    Final wishes. One last glorious race across the battlefield.
    Even the suggestion makes me feel uncomfortable.
    “Can I think about it?”
    “Of course. Talk it over with your mother.” She hands me a sheet of paper. “This’ll get you started.”
    I fold it without looking at the words, and push it into a pocket. I do not want to read it here.
    “Thanks.”
    There are five minutes left, and Doctor Kobayashi keeps on talking about how it works, but I do not hear a word because I’m thinking, What will be my dying wish?

    I’ve read through the list several times; I can’t seem to stop, yet with each “I wish” I can feel the anger bubble like thick black tar in my chest. I wish to have . I wish to be . I wish, I wish, I wish. But they cannot grant me anything