The Language of Secrets Read Online Free PDF

for a moment, savoring the quiet. When she got out of the bathtub, her movements were slow and dreamy and she saw that in the candlelight she looked radiant. She raised her arms above her head and moved in graceful circles around the bathroom, watching her misty image in the mirror and flirting with the momentary belief that what she was seeing—this sensuous angel—was the truth. Breasts perfectly round and lifted, skin that was flawless, a belly that was tight and unmarked. For an instant, she imagined what might happen if Robert could see her like this, confident and shimmering; if he could see every inch of this exquisite nakedness.
    She stumbled over a pair of rubber ducks on the floor, andalmost immediately she heard the phone ringing. Not wanting the noise to wake the girls, she opened the door and ran out of the bathroom.
    The fog on the mirror was sucked away. The sensuous angel had vanished.
    In the bedroom, Caroline lifted the receiver and heard Robert say: “Hi, honey. Sorry to call so late. Did I wake you up?” His voice sounded solicitous.
    “No. I was taking a bath. Now I’m standing here nude and dripping.” There was a silence, and for a second, Caroline hoped she had set off a spark. Then Robert said, “Everything okay with the girls? You guys all ready for Halloween tomorrow?”
    “Yeah. We’re all set.” Caroline yanked the sheet off the bed and used it to dry herself. “How was the drive up?”
    “Long. Uneventful.”
    “Well there are worse things than uneventful, I guess.” She tossed the sheet aside and pulled on an old pair of sweatpants and a wrinkled T-shirt. Then she lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She felt heavy and dull.
    “So. How was your day, honey? Good?”
    “It was fine, Robert. Oh, guess who called?”
    “Who?”
    “Mitch. He’s in L.A. for some kind of meeting. He wanted to take us to dinner tomorrow night. Barton, too.”
    “Too bad we won’t be able to make it.” There was a faint edge to Robert’s voice. “He should have let us know he was coming.”
    “Yeah, I guess it was all pretty last-minute. He was disappointed about dinner but he … uh … he said maybe that we could … that I could meet him for lunch instead.” Caroline was up now, pacing.
    “So you’re going to have lunch with him?”
    She glanced down at her colorless T-shirt and wrinkled sweatpants. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m up to it.”
    “You sound tired. Get some sleep. And don’t forget to lock up first, okay?” Robert’s tone was gentle, but the comment made Caroline feel combative. “Robert, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s taking care of this house. And my children.”
    “I know. But I love it when I can take care of all of you. Maybe being away is making me feel disconnected. I love us. I love being a family.”
    Caroline didn’t answer him; she laid the receiver on the bed and went across the hall. Into the bathroom.
    She took off the T-shirt and the sweatpants. And then she looked at herself in the mirror. This time, there was no angel in misted candlelight. There was simply Caroline—alone—needing to feel beautiful.
    When she returned to the bedroom and picked up the receiver, Robert was saying: “I love you, Caroline. I’ll always love you. No matter what. You have to believe that.”
    She hung up the phone with such gentleness that there was no click as she lowered the receiver; there was only silence, as if there never had been a call at all.
    Caroline went downstairs, then out into the backyard. She sat in the moonlight. For a few minutes, tears flowed. After they were gone, she stayed gazing at the night shadows, thinking about a cream-colored dress she had bought a long time ago and never worn, and about how perfect it might look on her now, in the lobby of an elegant hotel.
    *
    “Sorry you had to wait.” The valet opened Caroline’s car door and offered her his hand. “Welcome to the Baldwin. Are you checking in?”
    “No.