The Lady’s Torn Heart (Faces of Love Series #2) Read Online Free PDF

attended it.” - Jane Austen

    * * *
    I t was after dinner that night. We were all sitting around the fire again, as was the custom. Mary had little Juliette in her arms, cooing to her softly. I realized that I had never discussed the prospect of going with Colonel Fitzwilliam.
    In truth, I hadn’t entirely decided whether I wanted to go. I did want to see the horses. I was sure that the trip would be exciting and memorable. It wasn’t that I was disappointed in the company either. I enjoyed talking with Fitzwilliam. He seemed like a kindred spirit to me, a good friend.
    In reality, I was hesitant to leave and not see James. I had spent every day from our meeting until today with him in some fashion or another. I understood why he stayed away today, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be without him for a whole week’s time.
    Not to mention, I wasn’t sure if me going with Fitzwilliam was more of a message than I wanted to send. I did like him. Now I couldn’t help but be convinced that I was head over heels for James.
    Perhaps that was reason in itself to go. It was already clear that his aunt didn’t like the idea of him with me. I had taken Gaffton’s words to heart. I wouldn’t want to encourage his affections if it was to his detriment. The thought of him with another woman was a mixture of unfathomable pain and heated jealousy. No words had been spoken between us, but I had to believe by his manners and the words he did say that he did feel the same for me.
    My head had been circling these thoughts throughout the day. It was the cause of my forgetfulness to talk to Mary or send off my note. “Mary, I forgot to mention to you that Colonel Fitzwilliam came by for tea today.”
    “I thought I saw him leaving as I came up to the house today,” Gaffton said, taking a seat alongside his wife with brandy in hand.
    I smiled at the picture of their little family. I loved how they spent every possible moment with each other. “Yes, he asked if I still wanted to go to auction with him. He is leaving tomorrow.”
    “What did you say?” Mary asked.
    “I told him I would discuss it with you first. His sister would be coming along also.”
    “Do you want to go?”
    I hesitated. “Yes,” I said finally.
    “But you don't want to leave James,” she finished for me.
    I blushed at my transparency.
    “I think it might be a good idea,” Gaffton chimed in firmly. It would give you both some time to get some perspective.”
    “I agree,” I said. “I thought about going for that reason. But then I wonder if that would be fair to Fitzwilliam.”
    “I do think he cares for you more than you do for him,” Mary said. “I’ve seen the way he watches you when you are with James. I think he knows where your feelings lie now. I don’t believe that you would be doing anything to give him false hope.”
    “It would be nice for him if things did work out between the two of you,” Gaffton added as an afterthought. “He has been through so much. He deserves some happiness.”
    “Do you mean because of the war?” I asked. I had noticed that the colonel always did have a bit of a sorrowful air about him. Like something was weighing him down that he just couldn't’ shake.
    “Well, there is certainly that. What I speak of, though, is his first wife.”
    I was surprised. I suppose it made sense that a man of his age had been married before. “I had no idea,” I said.
    “Neither did I,” Mary added. “He has never spoken of it.”
    Gaffton nodded. “He was married when we were young. Back when I refused ever to give in to the whims of a woman,” he said and gave his wife a wink. “They were a lovely couple. She died during childbirth.”
    “So Fitzwilliam has a child?” I asked.
    “No, sadly, the baby also passed before its first birthday.”
    We all settled into silence. Mary held her little girl a little tighter to her chest. It was a vivid reminder that this life was all too fragile.
    “The poor