The Keys to Jericho Read Online Free PDF

cautious whenever he discusses his job, he shifts in his seat and carefully answers, “It was fine.”
    I steadily ask, “Did you get into any hairy situations?” He frowns, but doesn’t answer, which I take as an invitation to carry on. “How much you make in tips?”
    His sharp look could crack pavement. “Hilarious.” Rio checks his phone for the fifth time since sitting down, no doubt waiting for permission to take a piss.
    Dash leans forward with a wicked smile. “Come on, Diet Dr. Pussy, nothing happened today?”
    He tears his eyes away from his phone with a glower aimed at Dash. “Bite me, Douche Calder.”
    Looking between Dash and Rio, I laugh and shake my head just as our waitress stops at our table. Dash and I order beers and then look expectantly at Rio to do the same. However, he orders a goddamn Pepsi.
    I reach over my chest, pointing at Dash. “Shouldn’t you be carding him?”
    She pauses then opens her mouth to say something. Dash leans forward and mumbles, “Damn it.” Moving beside me, he slides his license across the table before she has a chance to ask. I laugh and Rio cracks a smile.
    When we’re again left alone and Dash is stuffing his license back into his wallet, my smile dwindles as I suspiciously glare at Rio, opening his menu. “Why didn’t you just order chocolate milk? At least you could keep the cup.”
    Baffled by my comment, he guardedly watches me for a few seconds before asking, “What’s with you?”
    “I just thought you were going to drink a beer with us.”
    “Why’s it matter what I drink?”
    Sitting back and crossing my arms, I sneeringly ask, “Aren’t you out of your shackles tonight?”
    Before he can reply, a voice from behind me shouts, “Why Dr. Duquesne! Is that you?”
    I look behind me to see a pudgy, hunched over artifact, who appears to be wearing pajamas of some sort. Her hair is white and stringy, and her pale skin sags, resembling that of a basset hound’s face. She’s holding onto a walker with one hand and waving to Rio with the other.
    One of Rio’s patients.
    Holy shit.
    Stunned by her decrepit appearance and knowing that Rio has to see her naked, I instantly turn to look at him as he glances past me, slapping on a smile. “Mrs. Selznick. It’s nice to see you.”
    I mumble to Dash, “At least with her clothes on this time.”
    Dash whispers, “Fuck me.”
    I whisper back, “Do you want me to ask her for you? Then again, she may break you in half.” He pinches my arm and I jerk away from him as I return my attention to the looming train wreck before us.
    She finally makes it to our table without collapsing. “Now, now. I told you to call me Gert.” The smell of Ben Gay, some ancient perfume, and impending death, mixed with the light smoke from the grill, assault my nose and I subtly lean closer to Dash, whose Backstreet Boys or Michael Jordan cologne is now greatly appreciated. If I could put my nose against his neck and not look like I’m trying to make out with him or suck his blood, I would be all over him.
    Duquesne contends, “And I told you I’m not a doctor, and to just call me Rio.”
    I’m pretty sure Grandma Moses can’t hear me, so I quietly inform Dash, “He just pretends to be one to get into their pants.” Unfortunately, Rio isn’t deaf and he subtly pounds his fist on the table, without a doubt warning us to shut our mouths.
    “Oh, hush. Rio is that damn movie my grandkids watch.” My fist automatically goes to my mouth to stifle a howl. Without looking at me still, Rio irritably clears his throat and anxiously pulls on the edge of his menu, which only makes me laugh more, causing a chain reaction with Dash.
    She goes on, “Who cares about if you’re official ? You deserve that title with all that you’ve done for me.” Fuck, the mental pictures coming to mind are going to keep me awake for years.
    She turns to Dash and me, and I miraculously keep a straight face somehow. She points to Rio and loudly