The Invisible Chains - Part 2: Bonds of Fear Read Online Free PDF

Was it only a few months ago that those duties had
    also been his? It seemed ages ago. He recalled that he hadn’t been
    good at it. He never could decide what to do, and whenever he did
    make a decision it was usually the wrong one. With his renunciation,
    these responsibilities had ceased and so had the panic attacks. His
    lord was far better at it than he had ever been. Not that Anaxantis
    told him anything, but Gorth kept him informed. He still marveled
    how some ten days ago his lord had humbled the whole Amirathan
    nobility into submission. He had done it to keep everybody safe.
    Bonds of Fear
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    “He also did it to keep me safe. He keeps me safe, not only from the
    barbarians, but also from the king and the princes. From the officers
    and all the others who hate me. And what does he want in return? Not
    much. Just some trifling services, some futile comforts. He can be blunt
    and he sometimes snaps at me, but that’s only to be expected after an
    enervating day, during which he has to tend to weighty matters and
    all kinds of people vie for his attention. It’s not surprising that he just
    wants some peace and quiet when he is here, and who could blame
    him?
    “He only wants to relax after an exhausting day, and how do I
    thank him for all his toils? I aggravate him by not performing my tasks
    well enough. They’re not very demanding, they’re not complicated and
    I have all the time in the world. Yet, often he finds me at fault or catches
    me not having done my chores to expectation. Of course he gets angry
    then, rightly so. I’ll just have to do better. It’s not as if he is unjust.
    Whenever I do something right he is happy, also happy for me, and he
    praises me, undeservedly, because it is only my duty.
    “He has taken my clothes away. He says it is a constant reminder of
    what I really am. Maybe he is right. He usually is. Maybe it is only my
    pride, my undue, stupid pride that made me want to resist. And maybe
    that resistance itself is proof that he is right.
    “He likes to watch me and it gives him obvious pleasure. So what?
    He touches me wherever and whenever his fancy takes him. It is little
    enough to give him in return for his protection and the care he takes of
    me. If I can in any way make his life more agreeable, I should be glad
    for the opportunity to do so. I should be grateful that he still wants
    to look at me, that he hasn’t grown tired of me. He must have more
    opportunities than I can imagine. I should thank the Gods that he
    hasn’t sent me to the Royal Farms...
    “He gave me this demeaning name and he slaps my ass, sometimes
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    Andrew Ashling
    just as a kind of greeting, sometimes as an encouragement. One time
    he dragged me through the room by my ear to the bathroom and
    made me clean it again, on my hands and knees, while he stood there
    watching all the time. Well, that was my own fault, wasn’t it? I should
    have done it right to begin with. It is nothing compared with what he
    could do. No, really, I have so much to be grateful for...”
    Silently tears rolled over his cheeks. He wiped them away,
    annoyed with himself.
    “Ridiculous. He loves me. I know he does. Once in a while he invites
    me into his bed and we make love. I can feel that he cherishes me. He
    is so tender then, so affectionate. You can’t fake that. He needs me. And
    when all is said and done he is my love, my lord.”
    The door opened and Anaxantis came in, deep in thought. He
    unclasped his mantle and let it drop to ground. Then he unbuckled
    his sword belt and threw it, weapon and all, onto the table. Ehandar
    scurried to retrieve the mantle and the sword and put them away.
    “Your foot bath is ready, my lord,” he said softly. “The water is just
    as you like it.”
    “Thank you, Tarno,” Anaxantis sighed.
    He sat down in the chair and began unlacing his boots. Ehandar
    crouched down beside his feet.
    “Let me do it, my lord,” he said.
    Anaxantis let himself sink back in the chair and let