The Importance of Being Earnest Read Online Free PDF

make chasm after chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust us wide enough apart. Sit down and write the card.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . Nothing in the whole world would induce me.
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(Crossing to bureau.)
Then I will!
(Rings electric bell, sits and writes card.)
    L ADY W INDERMERE . You are going to invite this woman?
(Crossing to him.)
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Yes.
    (Pause. Enter Parker.)
    Parker!
    P ARKER . Yes, my lord.
(Comes down L.C.)
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Have this note sent to Mrs. Erlynne at No. 84A Curzon Street.
(Crossing to L.C. and giving note to Parker.)
There is no answer!
    (Exit Parker C.)
    L ADY W INDERMERE . Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult her.
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Margaret, don’t say that.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . I mean it.
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Child, if you did such a thing, there’s not a woman in London who wouldn’t pity you.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . There is not a
good
woman in London who would not applaud me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I propose to begin to-night.
(Picking up fan.)
Yes, you gave me this fan to-day; it was your birthday present. If that woman crosses my threshold, I shall strike her across the face with it.
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Margaret, you couldn’t do such a thing.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . You don’t know me!
(Moves R.)
    (Enter Parker.)
    Parker!
    P ARKER . Yes, my lady.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . I shall dine in my own room. I don’t want dinner, in fact. See that everything is ready by half-past ten. And, Parker, be sure you pronounce the names of the guests very distinctly to-night. Sometimes you speak so fast that I miss them. I am particularly anxious to hear the names quite clearly, so as to make no mistake. You understand, Parker?
    P ARKER . Yes, my lady.
    L ADY W INDERMERE . That will do!
    (Exit Parker C.)
    (Speaking to Lord Windermere.)
Arthur, if that woman comes here—I warn you——
    L ORD W INDERMERE . Margaret, you’ll ruin us!
    L ADY W INDERMERE . Us! From this moment my life is separate from yours. But if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to this woman, and tell her that I forbid her to come here!
    L ORD W INDERMERE . I will not—I cannot—she must come!
    L ADY W INDERMERE . Then I shall do exactly as I have said.
(Goes R.)
    You leave me no choice.
    (Exit R.)
    L ORD W INDERMERE .
(Calling after her.)
Margaret! Margaret!
(A pause.)
My God! What shall I do? I dare not tell her who this woman really is. The shame would kill her.
(Sinks down into a chair and buries his face in his hands.)
    ACT DROP

S ECOND A CT
    S CENE —Drawing-room in Lord Windermere’s house. Door R.U. opening into ball-room, where band is playing. Door L. through which guests are entering. Door L.U. opens on to illuminated terrace. Palms, flowers, and brilliant lights. Room crowded with guests. Lady Windermere is receiving them
.
    D UCHESS OF B ERWICK .
(Up C.)
So strange Lord Windermere isn’t here. Mr. Hopper is very late, too. You have kept those five dances for him, Agatha?
(Comes down.)
    L ADY A GATHA . Yes, mamma.
    D UCHESS OF B ERWICK .
(Sitting on sofa.)
Just let me see your card. I’m so glad Lady Windermere has revived cards.—They’re a mother’s only safeguard. You dear simple little thing!
(Scratches out two names.)
No nice girl should ever waltz with such particularly younger sons! It looks so fast! The last two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr. Hopper.
    (Enter Mr. Dumby and Lady Plymdale from the ball-room
.
    L ADY A GATHA . Yes, mamma.
    D UCHESS OF B ERWICK .
(Fanning herself.)
The air is so pleasant there.
    P ARKER . Mrs. Cowper-Cowper. Lady Stutfield. Sir James Royston. Mr. Guy Berkeley.
    (These people enter as announced.)
    D UMBY . Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball of the season?
    L ADY S TUTFIELD . I suppose so, Mr. Dumby. It’s been a delightful season, hasn’t it?
    D UMBY . Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the last ball of