The Implosion of Aggie Winchester Read Online Free PDF Page B

care. I liked his old-school taste in music, liked how easy he was to talk to, liked the way his dark eyes studied me as if he was trying to learn everything about me.
    That summer, Neil started playing basketball and lifting weights almost every day. He wanted to get healthy, he said. He wanted to lose his pudge once and for all.
    The change was almost immediate. He didn’t just lose the weight. He filled out. He gained confidence. He carried himself differently.
    When school started in the fall, it was like he was in another social stratosphere. His car was suddenly cool. His taste in music was edgy. His Goth girlfriend? Not so much. He moved up and left me behind.
    On the porch, Neil leaned in so our noses were almost touching. “I still think about you so much,” he said.
    My nerves were quaking. “I think about you too,” I whispered.
    “Then come over next weekend,” he said.
    I squeezed my eyes shut and fought back the word yes . The truth is, I could have been okay with being dumped, except it wasn’t a clean break. Neil didn’t do the rip-it-offlike-a-Band-Aid thing. He broke up with me right after homecoming, in October, but was in touch again by November asking to see me.
    I’d suggested we meet at Tickywinn’s, a café we sometimes hung out at, and he’d said no. In an IM he said, Come ovr whn my parents r aslp. I’ll let u in when u get to my house. I’ll watch for u. I’d missed him so much, I’d snuck out and visited him in November. And I’d done it three other times since then, too. Four times total. But I knew what was going on. These weren’t dates—Neil was using me. Not for sex (we’d never done that, actually) but for everything else.
    “Neil,” I whispered, “we can’t keep doing this. You have to know tha—”
    Suddenly the back door flew open. “Bromes!” It was Paul Towes, a senior. He squinted against the darkness. “Neil Bromes! You out here?”
    Neil whipped around, shoving me behind him. In the blackness, I could have been anyone.
    “’Sup, Towes?” Neil yelled back.
    “You’re wanted in here. The strip poker game calls!”
    “Sweet,” Neil said. “There in a sec.”
    “Awwwooooo!” Paul howled, and shut the door.
    Neil turned back around and tried to kiss me. I shoved him away. “No,” I said. “Leave me alone. Please.”
    “What? Why? What’s the matter?”
    “I can’t take this anymore. It’s too much.”
    Even in the dark I could see Neil’s eyes widen with surprise. And maybe hurt.
    “I only wanted to see you,” he said. I suddenly longed to take my words back, but before I could say anything else, he’d turned away. He was headed back into the house.
    I stood there, shaking with cold and pain, before I realized I was still holding Neil’s drink. I brought it to my lips and slammed half of it down, wanting to guzzle anything and everything until I passed out. Whatever it took to make the pain go away.
    “Easy there,” came a voice from the shadows.
    I sputtered and squinted against the darkness, trying to make out who else was around. To my horror, Fitz stepped forward.
    “Don’t drink too fast. You’ll get a headache.”
    My face burned, even in the cold. How much had Fitz heard? I stared at the cup in my hand. I was so tired suddenly. How bad would it be if I just lay down? Could I sleep on the deck with no one noticing?
    “I didn’t mean to scare you,” Fitz said. He inched closer, like I was a rabid raccoon or something. The next thing I knew, he’d put his jacket around my shoulders.
    “You’re freezing,” he said.
    I lifted my eyes. His huge mouth was pulled into a frown.
    “Thanks,” I said. Then, “What are you doing out here?”
    “I was getting some air when you and Romeo dropped by. I decided to wait you guys out.”
    “Oh,” was all I could think to say. Neil’s drink had been strong, and I’d had some beer on top of it. My brain was slowing down, and my insides were heating up.
    “You need a ride home?”