The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide Read Online Free PDF Page B

his pals, Cheever Bing and Morton Smith, can’t listen in on our discussion. If anything can tear them away from Minecraft, it’s a discussion about S-E-X by two people of the opposite sex, especially if one is Jeff’s older sister. 
    I settle back down onto the couch and try to collect my thoughts before speaking. “I waited until I knew I was with ‘the one.’”
    I’m lying, of course. Who the hell knows a guy is “the one” when they’re seventeen? Or twenty-seven, for that matter. 
    I guess the proof I guessed wrong was when Carl left me with three kids.
    But yes, I presumed he was “the one.” What I didn’t count on was his also being Public Enemy Number One.
    While Mary tries to find meaning in my dodge, I add, “Why exactly do you want to know?”
    “Because—” she pauses. “No reason. I was just wondering.”
    Ah, I see. 
    Mary is twelve going on twenty, and that freaks me out. Her quote-unquote steady is a cute kid named Trevor Smith, the captain of the Hilldale Middle School varsity basketball team. Right now, I want to break both his arms before he does something to Mary that he’ll regret, and she will, too.
    “Sex is different from love, Mary.”
    “Oh, Mom!” Mary rolls her eyes. “I know that!”
    “Okay, I’ll take your word for it. So, tell me: why are they different?”
    She stops to think about it. Then: “When you date, some guys only want to see how far they can get with you. You know…they don’t really treat you as a person.” She shakes her head sadly. “I don’t want to be that kind of girl.”
    I nod, but say nothing. Inside I’m doing a happy dance because she actually knows the difference.
    “But I think it’s exciting when a boy—a  guy —is just as sweet on you as you are on him.” 
    “I can see that.” I try to keep my tone nonchalant as I drench a cotton ball in polish remover and wipe off yesterday’s sparkly turquoise from Mary’s left foot. “But love is different, at different ages and stages of life. And so is dating. That’s why it’s smart to date more than one guy, so you have some other experiences for comparison. The good guys always show respect, and never push you to—to do anything that doesn’t seem right.”
    “Did you date a lot, before you met Dad?”
    “Yes, I’d dated some, but I wasn’t that experienced.” I’m sure the color of my cheeks is almost as dark and purple as the polish I’m applying to her nails. “I was twenty when we met, and I was in college. We married within a year, after I turned twenty-one.”
    “Did you feel you should have waited?”
    “No. At least, not at the time.”
    “But in hindsight, would you have liked to have had more experiences?”
    “Yes, I wish I had. It’s hard to know what’s right for you if you’ve had too few experiences, or have only experienced one relationship that is not really working for you.”
    Mary looks up sharply. “But Dad wasn’t wrong for you, was he?” 
    Ah, yet another trick question. “Dad has changed a lot over the years. Then again, I have, too. “You see, Mary, not only must you both grow, you can’t have grown apart.”
    “When Dad was gone all that time, did you grow apart?”
    Her question rips a tiny tear in my heart. Does she suspect that Jack isn’t Carl Stone, her father? 
    I search her face for the answer. What I see is innocence and curiosity. 
    And trust.
    It’s why I can answer her from the bottom of my heart. “To stay in love, you need respect, and passion, and above all, trust. All the time I waited for him, I trusted he would come home again.”
    Carl never really came home. 
    On the other hand, Jack has proven to me he is worth the wait.
    Mary’s comprehension comes with a slow nod. “Mom, I think Trevor likes me as much as I like him, but sometimes I catch him looking at other girls, and that makes me jealous. So I don’t know about the ‘trust’ part. At least, not yet.”
    “To find true love at such a young