The House We Grew Up In Read Online Free PDF Page B

went off to university, and I completely changed, blossomed into something quite different. It was as if my childhood had never happened, like I’d shed a skin. So there you go, that’s me. Well, the early stages of me. And I suppose, in a way, it was having such an odd and uncomfortable childhood myself that made me so utterly, utterly determined to give my own children the best childhood possible.
    It remains to be seen whether or not they would say that I succeeded.
    So, tell me more about your son. Do you live with him? How old is he? What’s his name? I’m glad you have a child. It will give us more to talk about.
    Oh, BANGBANGBANG! The fireworks are starting already here in the village. I hope you’re watching a lovely display somewhere, wrapped up warm and cosy. I’ll be making do with listening to it, from here in my chair. I can’t really find the motivation to get out there and stand about in the cold with a bunch of strangers!
    All the very best to you, Jim, take care,
    Lorelei
April 1987
    Bethan had grown breasts. Huge ones. Quite suddenly and as if from nowhere. One minute she’d been a bony little thing in a training bra from Woollies, the next she was off to the shops with Mum, looking for something in a 32C. Megan was both alarmed (her baby sister!) and jealous (her baby sister!) but mainly fascinated as Bethan now possessed the only substantial pair of breasts in the family.
    ‘Let me see then,’ she badgered as Lorelei and Beth bustled into the house on a dry April afternoon halfway through the Easter holidays.
    Beth looked embarrassed as Meg snatched the bag from her. ‘Ooh,’ she said, fingering the cream lace thing with its solid underwiring and its unlikely capacious cups. ‘Nice,’ she said, trying not to sound jealous. ‘Did you get anything else?’
    ‘No,’ said Beth, snatching back the bra and shoving it into the carrier bag before one of her little brothers saw it.
    ‘I did, though!’ said Lorelei, her high cheekbones flushed pink, her green eyes flashing with something chemical and profound. ‘Look! There’s a new shop opened in town. What was it called, Beth?’
    Beth rolled her eyes and said, ‘Poundstretcher.’
    ‘Yes! Poundstretcher! Everything’s a pound. Can you imagine? Look!’
    She emptied a bulging carrier bag on to the tabletop and let her eyes roam over her booty with a hunger and a joy that were almost tangible.
    ‘Look!’ she said. ‘Hangers. Ten for a pound. Aren’t theylovely? I just loved the colours, especially this blue one. And pan scourers, a pound for twenty …’
    Meg too stared at the items on the tabletop and said, ‘Why have you bought three packs?’
    Her mother’s smile froze for a split second. Then she laughed and said, ‘Always good to have stockpiles.’
    ‘Oh, yes,’ said Meg, ‘just think how smug we’ll be when we’re living in a post-apocalyptic wilderness and we’re the only family in the village with
pan scourers
.’
    Meg saw Beth’s face cloud over then and noticed a tiny, barely perceptible shake of her head. She tutted loudly and said, ‘Sixty pan scourers, Beth. We have sixty pan scourers.’
    Beth smiled apologetically and Lorelei stood there, her shoulders slightly slumped, the light gone from her eyes. ‘Why do you always have to spoil everything, Meggy? Why?’ Her eyes filled with tears and she hurriedly returned her treasures to the carrier, before leaving the room.
    ‘What?’ snapped Meg, looking at Beth’s accusing face.
    ‘Oh, come on, why d’you have to be so hard on her?’
    ‘Don’t you see,’ Meg hissed, ‘it’s because of you lot, everyone in this fucking family, that she is the way she is. You encourage her!’
    ‘But what does it matter?’ said Beth. ‘Who cares if we’ve got too many pan scourers? Who cares if funny things make her happy? Why does it bother you so much?’
    ‘Because,’ she began, the rage starting to separate in her mind into manageable chunks of theory, ‘because