The Helena Diaries - Trouble in Mudbug (Ghost-in-Law Series Novellas) Read Online Free PDF Page B

television remote and was flipping through the channels. What the hell did it matter what was playing while he showered? Then he pressed the buttons to purchase a movie and I felt a wave of nausea roll over me.  
    My worst fear was confirmed when a bleached-blonde with an enormous chest bounced naked on to the screen. Good God. No way was I sticking around to see what happened with a naked man who thought he was alone with porn. I already had a good idea what was about to go down, and I was fighting to keep the visual from cementing in my mind.  
    Panicked, I tried running through the door again, but I bounced right off and fell to the floor. I jumped up, and scanned the room for a hiding place when I noticed the open window.  
    What the hell—it wasn’t like I could die or anything.
    I probably should have just run for the window and dived out headfirst, but removing fear of death didn’t seem to remove the fear of plummeting to the ground. Instead, I inched backward out the window until the toes of those hideous shoes were perched on top of a tiny jut of brick. Then I made the mistake of looking back inside the room.  
    I screamed bloody murder and let go. A second round of death had to be better than what I’d seen. I crashed into a dumpster, sending three alley cats scattering over the edge and down the alley, further convincing me that whole cats-can-see-ghosts thing was true.
    It took three jumps before I managed to grasp the top edge of the dumpster and scramble over the edge. I fell to the ground with a thud and just lay there, too exhausted to move. The smell of stale garbage filled my nose, but I assumed it was all in the Dumpster as my hideous suit was still pristine, despite having landed in a pile of old food, complete with ketchup.  
    That did it—regardless of how far it was, I was walking to that motel that Harold had jotted down. I could use the many, many miles of fresh air to clear my mind.  
     
    Wherein Helena goes on a date for the first time in forty years
    I can’t believe Maryse blew me off to go on a date with that doctor. That cad has been making time with every woman in Mudbug under the age of forty, and rumor has it, a couple that weren’t. The girl appears to be hell-bent on attaching her hitch to losers. First my son—who was long gone from the motel Harold wrote down, BTW—and now this one. I suppose one might argue that at least the doctor has a job, but I’d argue that at least Hank never cheated on Maryse. The doctor was guaranteed to do so.
    The evening did contain two big positives—first off, I learned how to walk through walls. Just like Maryse’s nutty friend suspected, when I tried it with full faith that I could do it, it worked. I strolled right through that restaurant door and completely disrupted Maryse’s date with that cad doctor. That was positive number two.
    Unfortunately, Maryse was not as excited about my accomplishments, especially number two. I followed her to the car, but she was so irate that I decided to hitchhike home. Besides, I couldn’t look at that smug doctor’s face one more moment.  
    And what in the world is the deal with people not wearing underwear? It seems you have to die to find out what’s really going on in this world.  
    By the time I got to Maryse’s cabin, she was already past drunk and headed for comatose. Unfortunately, the irate was still in place. I did feel bad, though, that she accused me of ruining her night because I didn’t like her. I don’t pretend to understand Maryse at all most of the time, but I’ve never disliked her. In fact, I could probably like her if she weren’t always insulting me.
    As she was in no state to discuss business, especially business that concerned me, I got her to turn the television to a channel featuring an entire night of shows on ghosts. Now that I’d gotten that wall-walking thing down, I was anxious to learn some more. How to change clothes was next on the list.
     

Trouble in