head-teacher running to the Education Office before heâs got his legs under the table, complaining and saying he was having problems, would not have gone down very well, now, would it?â He paused, tugged nervously at his moustache again, then looked straight at me. âActually, Mr Phinn,â he continued, âI had rather thought that you would have called in to see how I was getting on. In your report, you did say that you would be making a visit to check on how things were progressing. I rather expected that you would have got in touch before now. At my last school in London, the school inspectors were regular visitors and I always welcomed their support and advice.â
He had been right, of course. I had promised to return to the school and monitor progress but I had failed to do so. âYes,â I replied now, rather sheepishly, âI did. Iâm afraid Iâve been so very busy and I assumed, quite wrongly as it turns out, that things were improving. It was remiss of me.â Then I added defensively, âOf course, Yorkshire is the biggest county in the country â the size of Israel, Iâve been told â and there are so many schools to visit by a relatively small team of inspectors.â
âIâm not blaming you, Mr Phinn,â the headteacher told me. âI am responsible for the effective running of the school and it is down to me to implement your recommendations and make the necessary changes.â
Nevertheless, I thought to myself, I should have followed things up.
âI assumed,â Mr Harrison continued, âthat once I had settled in and gained the confidence of the governors, parents and,hopefully, my teaching colleagues, I could develop so many new and interesting initiatives and move the school forward. Sadly, I have not been very successful. Many parents of the children at the Infant School donât want their children educated at Ugglemattersby Juniors and opt for other schools when their offspring reach seven, rather than sending them here. Over the last few years, thereâs been a steady haemorrhaging of children from this school and Iâve not been able to stem the flow. Ugglemattersby used to have four classes ten years ago but now weâre down to three and we lost our brightest pupil in the top class last week. Sheâs gone on to a preparatory school in Ribsdyke. Itâs all very depressing.â
âWell, I think we may have to consider competency here, Mr Harrison,â I said.
âMr Phinn!â Mr Harrison burst out. âI have tried, I really have and ââ
âNo, no, not your competency but that of your teaching staff,â I hastily assured him. âI assume the governors are aware of your concerns?â
âIn some part, yes, but there lies another difficulty. I get little support from the present governing body. The governors who appointed me and were keen on the changes I suggested at my interview, unfortunately resigned â albeit for perfectly valid reasons â before I took up my position. They were replaced by Councillor Sidebottom, who is now the chairman of the board, assisted by the parish council nominee and thatâs Mr Battersby. The clerk to the governing body is the school secretary and sheâs Mrs Battersbyâs sister-in-law. Even the caretaker is a relative. They are all as thick as thieves. Itâs all terribly incestuous.â
âThen the Education Office must assist you to grasp this particular nettle,â I told him. Whilst I felt sorry for the man, I did not relish such an unpleasant business, particularly at the beginning of the new term, but I knew it was likely to be the only course of action. âIâve not seen the two teachers since my last visit when, as you are aware, I was not impressed. But if, as you describe, things have not improved, then we have togo down the road of competency proceedings, which may lead to their dismissal. I
Bill Pronzini, Barry N. Malzberg