The Grave Gourmet Read Online Free PDF

am. Did you miss me?”
    â€œI’ve never met you.”
    â€œYou should have. If I’d been here you wouldn’t be scratching around in the dust with nothing to show for your time.”
    â€œHow do you know what I’ve been up to?”
    â€œLittle sister, little sister. I’ve been with Tallon since the ass crack of dawn this morning. The hot news is that he’s decided to keep you on the case full-time. And he’s put me on another case. A real honey. Some citizen did a woman in and left pieces of her body in twenty different metro stops. More my style, Tallon must think. And the best part is that he’s asked me to be your guardian angel. You know, show you the ropes, keep an eye on you and all,” Rivière said with a leer so exaggerated it looked like farce.
    Despite herself Capucine broke into a smile.
    â€œAnd the good news just keeps on coming. He’s even given you my three musketeers for the duration. They seemed happy enough about that. Momo told me you were way more decorative than I am. Anyhow, let’s get our delicious asses out of here and get some work done. We’ve got to jump-start this puppy.”
    As they arrived at the Quai des Orfèvres Rivière suddenly dropped his cartoon Lothario routine and switched to caricaturing an aloof superior officer.
    He peremptorily ordered Capucine to obtain the names and stations of all the police guards of the official buildings and embassies in the vicinity of Diapason for the night of the incident. Capucine looked blank.
    â€œYou know, Lieutenant, the vigies, those poor sods who are too dumb to make gendarme rank and spend their days stuck out in front of public buildings like sacks of cabbages. Beats the hell out of me why they get automatic weapons. They can hardly hold them, much less shoot them. I’ll bet they’re not loaded.” Capucine had no idea why he wanted the list. But he wanted it within the hour.
    Fifty minutes later Capucine was in Rivière’s office being undressed by his eyes once again, this time even more thoroughly. He now seemed to know where all the clips and snaps were. Once his inspection was over he ran his eye down the list, circled two names with a fat marker, and shoved it back at her. “Here. Find out where these two guys are right now. They have stuff to tell us. Get back to me in fifteen minutes.”
    As she rushed off she lashed out at herself. Here was exactly the sort of man she despised most in life: vulgarly macho and arrogantly stupid. And here she was all a-twiddle, rushing around trying to please him. He was attractive, yes, but her reaction was still despicable.
    Within the allotted time frame Capucine returned with the addresses the two vigies were currently guarding. Rivière now seemed to be concentrating on her legs. He was clearly a man of eclectic tastes. “That took long enough. Let’s get going.”
    Their first stop was six hundred yards down the rue de Varenne from Diapason at the entrance to a huge eighteenth-century hôtel particulier. Rivière clapped the blue dome light on the roof of his car and bounced it up on the sidewalk at speed, screeching to a halt in front of a doltish policeman in an ill-fitting uniform. As if in a blind rage Rivière jumped out and roughly grabbed the man’s body armor.
    â€œYou Durand?” he sneered.
    â€œY…Y…Yessir!”
    â€œYou deserted your post on Friday night. I’m going to take you down to the Quai and write you up right now. This isn’t going to be some little review board slap on the wrist. Your ass is going to get fired and you’re not going to get a centime of pension when I get through with you. Count on it, my friend!” As he spoke he shook the vigie hard enough to rattle his teeth.
    â€œSir, please, please, I only stepped to the corner to have one cigarette.”
    â€œOne! You little shits think you’ve joined a smoking club.