The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Read Online Free PDF Page B

scientist
and
a religious leader. If science and religion are to live side by side in mutual non-judgment, there needs to be a new model for dialogue, one that takes into account the interests
of both
sides. Religious people don’t really “do” numbers. Scientists can’t get dates and don’t have a clue what real people think. By collecting and presenting a different kind of data, we aim to appeal to “Bible thumpers” and “brainiacs” alike. Just getting those epithets out on the table can make a difference.
    In fact, we feel better already. Too many resources are being wasted in trying to prove intelligence in all we see around us. Wouldn’t it be better just to throw in the towel, call a spade a spade, and admit that our Creator is a dumbass?

    Aboriginal children killed the dodo
.
Examples of Unintelligent Design
T HE D ODO. Portuguese sailors, who marveled at this bird’s trusting and docile nature, gave it the name dodo, meaning “simpleton.” Unfortunately, the dodo was unable to compete in a rapidly changing environment, 3 and the bird soon went the way of the Portuguese sailor.
T HE P ASSENGER P IGEON . Once the most populous bird in North America, the passenger pigeon’s demise can be traced back to the early 1900s and McDonald’s highly popular but short-lived “McPidgin Sandwich.”
T HE I RISH E LK . Neither exclusively Irish nor an elk (it was really a large deer), the male of this species attracted mates based on the size of its antlers: the larger the antlers, the more attractive the male. As the selective pressures for a “nice rack” increased, the head of the male grew so overburdened that the males began to fall easy prey to the large predators 4 that were moving into northern Europe at the time. All the less impressive males just drank themselves to death.
T HE L LAMA . The typical llama is unable to produce milk
or
eggs, and many people can’t even spell its name.
T HE A PPENDIX . Might once have had value but is now completely useless. 5 No one really knows why it remains, although some have been found to hold gold coins.
R ELIGIOUS W ARFARE. Someone has described religious warfare as “killing people over who has the best invisible friend.” We tend to agree.
D ISCO . Scientists are still split on this dance craze, but the FSM doesn’t like it, so it goes on the list.
T HE M ACARENA. True fact: invented by a guy named Retardo.
J AR J AR B INKS . Hesa just stupid.
T HE D UCK -B ILLED P LATYPUS .Q. What creator combines a duck with a muskrat? A. Not an intelligent one.
    1 . For instance, making Evolution seem plausible.
    2 . The Patel Paradox: Dr. S. Patel, Ph.D., notes that the Hubble constant reveals a universe that is expanding at a rate both measurable and significant. In spite of that fact, he still can’t find a parking space.
    3 . Possibly caused by an early aboriginal dot.com boom.
    4 . Saber-toothed tigers, Germans, etc.
    5 . This includes its presence in book form.

FSM vs. ID, an Unlikely Alliance
The Controversy: Peer Review
    P EOPLE ARE PLAYING POLITICS WITH SCIENCE. Supporters of Intelligent Design, or ID, have been targeting education officials and public policy makers in a attempt to have their views taught to our nation’s students as “Science.” Because 99 percent of the scientific community supports the theory of Evolution, ostensibly rejecting ID in the process, we find ID proponents arguing that their beliefs should be
taken directly to the public—
thu
s
letting disorientated high school biology students decide the issue once and for all. 1
    This contrasts significantly with conventional scientific methods, where researchers are required to submit their work for review by fellow scientists in their particular field—a process known as “peer review.” Such a system serves to weed out unacceptable theories, thus keeping science pure and permanently safe from controversy. But ask yourself this question: While “peer review” sounds like a good idea,