The Glass Is Always Greener Read Online Free PDF Page B

late daddy, who was also diminutive, had been kin to Mrs. Wimbler. The revelation of such a possibility was sure to start a never-ending conversation—on second thought, that little tidbit would be my ace in the hole.
    Detective Krupp was clearly annoyed whenever the conversation veered from her control. “What I’m trying to say, Mrs. Timberlake, is that Wallace here and I have your back.”
    Wallace? How cruel can some parents get? (June and Ward Cleaver exempted.) No wonder the poor man had a complex; it wasn’t his height after all. Daddy was only five feet, and that included the one-inch chip on his shoulder—but it came from the fact that the service wouldn’t take him, not because of his stature per se.
    “Mrs. Timberlake,” Detective Krupp said, her annoyance clearly growing, “are you even listening to me?”
    “Yes, ma’am, I am.”
    “Good. Because I’m trying to tell you that my partner and I are going to take it easy on you, on account of you and I have this special connection. And you’re a native Southerner—like us. It’s not like you just moved down here six months ago from someplace like Boston or New York, and started calling yourself a North Carolinian.”
    “Or worse yet,” Detective Wimbler said, “is when you don’t.”
    “Yeah, you’ve got that right.”
    “And this means exactly what?” I said. I knew I was being played, and not like a Stradivarius either.
    “It means we’re going to release you on your own recognizance,” Detective Krupp said, “but we want you to stay in the area.”
    “That means no taking any side trips to visit LEGOLAND,” Detective Wimbler said.
    I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrows. “Isn’t that the miniature village built out of LEGO blocks that’s in Denmark?”
    “Sometimes it’s best just to ignore him,” Detective Krupp said. “Like now.” She moved to the door, indicating my interrogation was over. “Oh, just one more thing,” she said. “Her bazoomas were real.”
    “I beg to differ, Detective Krupp. That’s how I caught my husband having the affair. The bill from the plastic surgeon came to our house; it was for nine thousand dollars.”
    “Did you take the time to read it carefully, Mrs. Timberlake? I bet dollars to doughnuts that was for Tweetie’s reduction surgery. In the fourth grade that girl began to blossom like nobody’s business, and by the time we started middle school she could have posed for Playboy . Then they just got out of control—her breasts I mean. They were right painful, I suppose. I know she got excused from gym on that account.”
    “Why, slap me up the side of the head with a mess of greens and call me late for dinner.”
    “Are you mocking me, Mrs. Timberlake, because I’m trying to like you?”
    “I’m sorry. I’m just ashamed of myself for having been so judgmental of her, and didn’t know what else to say.”
    “Just lay low, Mrs. Timberlake,” Detective Wimbler said. “Don’t say anything more here; we’ll be in touch with you.”
    When I returned to the grand lobby of my hotel, I expected to get on the elevator, walk down a long plushy carpet to my door, enter my suite of rooms, take a scalding hot shower, and then flop onto my bed with the remote in one hand and a contraband bag of Peanut M&M’s in the other. Instead I was accosted. Right there in the lobby, I was practically jumped by three people—one of whom had been stalking me virtually my entire life!

Chapter 4
    S urprise!” Mama said.
    “I don’t like surprises, Mama. You know that.”
    “Abby, don’t be such a grouch,” Wynnell said. After Rob, she was my closest friend in the whole wide world, and knew a lot better than to drive up from Charleston unannounced like that.
    “We’re your backup team,” C.J. said. C.J. is my ex-sister-in-law, but a dear friend as well. She is also from Shelby, North Carolina, and has the stories to prove it.
    The three of them had surrounded me, but I managed to slip under