The Ghost Exterminator Read Online Free PDF

haunted.”
    “Yes, dear, that’s what he hired you for.”
    “No—I mean, yes, that is what he hired me for—but, no, that’s not what I meant. His house is fine—sort of. It’s him. He’s haunted.”
    Karma blinked and slowly leaned forward in her chair. “Perhaps you’d like to explain that.”
    Jo squirmed in her seat. “So…it isn’t entirely my fault.”
    “Explanations first. Excuses later.”
    Jo wiped every trace of expression from her face, trying to mimic Karma’s blank professionalism. “The client was already on site when I arrived at the designated meeting time. Preliminary examination of premises revealed abnormally high spectral energy emanating from the structure, but no indicators of the cause for this on the grounds. Client expressed reluctance to allow me access to the premises, stating possible demonic possession as grounds. No apparent signs of demonic energy. Client insisted on accompanying me into the structure and remaining present during extermination.” And if he had just listened to me in the first place, none of this would have happened.
    “Despite overwhelmingly high original readings, no ghosts were present upon immediate entry. The client and I followed sounds of activity to the kitchen, where I found an abnormal concentration of juvenile ghosts. I opened a window to let them out, but they resisted.”
    Karma didn’t move, but Jo felt her attention sharpen to a razor’s edge at that little tidbit. Jo was tempted to add a pithy comment about how resistance was futile, just like the Borg, but she didn’t want to ruin her uber-professional recitation with too much Trekkie geekery.
    “I then attempted to push the ghosts through the portal. After an initial measure of success, a secondary force began to forcefully draw the ghosts away from the window.”
    Karma’s chair squeaked as she sat forward suddenly, but she made no move to interrupt Jo’s report.
    “I exerted more force and directed the majority of the ghosts through the portal. At this point, the client interrupted the proceedings, splitting my concentration. I allowed the portal to close, believing that all of the ghosts had been expelled. A tremor passed through the house, after which I moved to check the wellbeing of the client and discovered two distinct spectral presences residing inside his body. In his diaphragm, to be precise.”
    “I imagine he took that well,” Karma said dryly.
    Jo winced. “He ran like the hounds of hell were after him, actually. I told him it probably wasn’t wise for him to take off while his stomach was still haunted, but he didn’t exactly react favorably to that suggestion. Couldn’t get away from me fast enough.” That had stung more than she cared to admit. It wasn’t like she’d tried to haunt him.
    “I see.” Karma blinked slowly, thick black lashes sweeping down then up again with a deliberateness that spoke of patience, understanding, and contemplation. Jo’s eyelashes were never so eloquent. “Do you believe the client to be in danger?”
    Jo pulled a face. “Not in danger, per se , but it probably isn’t a good idea to let a haunted executive run around town telling everyone we put a pair of baby ghosts in him.”
    “But you do not believe the spirits to be malevolent.”
    It wasn’t a question, but Jo answered anyway. “Naw. They’re kids. Whatever else was in that house might be a badass S.O.B., but the ghosts were just pranksters. Completely harmless.”
    “I assume the presence in the house disappeared again after you closed the portal?”
    “Yeah. I think it’s what rattled the foundations, but after that the house was totally empty of paranormal energy of any kind. Not so much as an echo.”
    Karma pursed her lips speculatively. “You did a sweep of the premises anyway, of course.”
    “Yep. I snuck back in after the haunted CEO took off in his Bentley. No more ghosts, no more weird presence and no indication whatsoever as to why either had been