The Further Adventures of a London Call Girl Read Online Free PDF

with nipples on?’
    samedi, le 2 octobre
    How to fuck someone and still be friends. Or, your cut-and-keep guide to being a good fuck buddy (or as N calls it, Friends with Privileges).
    1 The Sex. Must be good. Otherwise, why bother? This person is not going to raise children with you.
    2 The Companionship. It helps if this is someone you get on with and see around socially. Puts a nice ending on all those group nights out when it looks like you aren’t going to pull (or pull anything decent). You’ve pulled before you even arrived. What if he’s pulled and you haven’t? Even better: take them both home.
    3 The Gossip. People will assume you’re a couple. Get your stories straight and nip this in the bud.
    4 The Jealousy. There shouldn’t be any. If you suspect this is someone whose dalliances with others you might be even remotely miffed about, move on. It’s not going to work.
    5 The Talk. Must be open and frequent. Nothing sucks quite like finding your fuck buddy has secretly fallen for you.
    6 The Protection. Never forget he has carte blanche to fool around, and so have you. Regular does not equal clean.
    7 The Foreplay. Don’t play the whole ‘I’m drunk, club’s shut, didn’t pull, I know you’re home alone’ booty call shtick. Not more than half the time, anyway.
    8 The Threesomes. With luck, there should be plenty. N is kind enough – even when we’re not fucking – to ask women he’s with if they would like to sleep with me, too. Say it together: awww!
    9 The Others. If a potential amour asks if you’re sleeping with your fuck buddy, don’t deny it. Disclosure might send a third party running, but you were going to have to lie to someone like that to keep the peace, anyway. You don’t have to be explicit – ‘Yes, and just this morning I woke to him wanking on my face.’ Just be honest.
    10 The Goodbyes. You must behave like adults. Don’t ring him three weeks later from Africa and say you’d marry him if he’d have you back. It’s a lay, not a life.
    lundi le 4 octobre
    Straight from one work to the other. Am not sure I can handle the turnaround. I came in tired from the office, and had half an hour to shower, change – higher shoes, better knickers, slinkier suit, shinier lippy – and get out again. Must check and see whether manager actually has changed my profile on the website.
    The client was waiting for me with a porn film already on. ‘Ah,’ I said as we sat on the bed. ‘Ron Jeremy. An absolute classic.’
    ‘So you like them big, do you?’ he asked, rubbing the growing bulge in his trousers.
    ‘I like them all,’ I said. This was going to be a talk dirty one. I felt a little disappointed – I was tired from work and not sure I could summon the necessary imagination to keep up a running commentary.
    ‘Good,’ he said, unwrapping his own package. It wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t small, either. Just the slightly larger side of average.
    I reached down and took over the wanking from him. ‘Gorgeous instrument you have there,’ I said.
    ‘I like a girl who can take it all in her mouth.’
    ‘I don’t know about that,’ I said, squeezing the base of his shaft. I could have taken twice the size of his, but it’s good for them to think you’re impressed. ‘But I’ll certainly try.’ Some porn starlet was giving Ron Jeremy her best oral effort on screen.
    ‘Wait. Before you do,’ he said, reaching by the bed, ‘have you had anything to eat?’
    ‘Not really, no,’ I said, surprised. It was an unusual client who inquired after my health.
    ‘’Cause you see, I want you to choke on me,’ he said, and brought a handful of small, dry pastries out. The sort wrapped in plastic film that you get free in the first-class carriage of a train. ‘And if you could retch up some food on my balls that would be perfect.’
    ‘Do you have a drink?’ I asked. ‘Something to help these go down quickly?’
    ‘And back up again.’ He winked and headed for the minibar.
    As